Happy New Year!

This isn't exactly the way I thought I'd be ringing in 2010 but apparently we all needed some family time. Some wonderful things have been happening here. Some things that maybe you only dreamed about happening, dad, but they're happening. Mom is seeing M.B. right now and I know that will be a huge step in the right direction. I'm glad you're seeing emails. Did you notice that James hacked your account? Darn that son-in-law who knows way too much about computers, huh? We're glad you changed it back....we just wanted to know that you were out there.

Thank you for keeping yourself safe. Thank you. My kids need Papa Tom. I need my dad. But right now, I want you to know that I realize our needs don't come before your needs. You need to do what you are doing, and I understand that. I *feel like* I need you home, but why? I've gone weeks on end without seeing you before, and we live in the same town. I don't want to be selfish. You and mom didn't raise me to be that way.

It's almost noon where you are and you're already hours into 2010. Is it better in 2010? I sure hope so. And I don't mean that flippantly or rudely, I just mean I'm praying the best for all of us. I'm praying (and believing) that in 6 months we will be in such a better place than we were before all of this. That we'll look back on this time and be GLAD it happened. And that will take some time and a lot of work and healing.

More people are going to be supportive about this than are going to gossip about this. You know there's a lot of concern about what this is going to look like, and so many people know so very little about the whys and the hows of all of this. I agree with you dad - let them talk! There's freedom in the knowledge that we have, and I am confident about the truth in what you are saying to us. I will defend your honor and I will speak loudly on your behalf, should I need to. But I don't think anyone's ready for a good a$$-whooping from me if it should come to that.

I'm doing all I can to support and love on mom. You're right - she gets an A+ for being a mom. I love her to death and am doing everything in my power to support and encourage her through this. This is very difficult for her as I'm sure you knew it would be. She's also hearing some very tough things from all of us which is also difficult for her to process. Her heart is in the right place, and I see the desire for change there. All good things!

Happy New Year! I pray for God's richest blessings upon all of us in 2010. May this be the year we don't get pregnant or have any more babies!!!

Dear Dad,

Did you assume I'd worry? Did you worry that I would worry? Did it bother you that I would worry? I'm sure it did, as I know your heart. I know what you're doing. I understand. I am behind you 100%. I just can't be behind the WAY you're doing this. It's too hard. It's too painful for me - do you KNOW I have been saying the things you're saying? Do you know I get it, I want to help? But now I can't, or so I feel. What do you want me to do daddy? I'm your princess, your little girl, your only daughter. You are my first true knight in shining armor. I expect you to rescue me with your smile, your wit, the way you cherish my precious children, your love. Your hug on Christmas day stuck out to me. I didn't know then what you meant but I get it now and I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!

I'm going to share a bit about what's been happening here. I can only pray that you will seek this blog out from your little corner of this big world. That you will use it to connect with us in some way. I'm sharing for your sake, and for the sake of those who are reading this with absolutely no idea of what is going on. I don't share for the sake of drama, lord knows we have enough, but I share to draw you in and to draw the body of Christ around our family.

Last night (Tuesday) around 6:15 mom called me to say that you weren't home yet. She was concerned, and you know that Jeff had already been calling you multiple times. You wouldn't answer your cell phone but we knew that it was on. By 7pm the concern was growing deeper - I was at home to put all 5 kids to bed alone, worried about you, while James was at church for practice. I got that accomplished and started feeling very worried. I tried to pray my fears away but it wasn't working. Chris and Cathy were keeping me informed - mom just filed a missing persons report on you (7:30 or so). By 8 I called James at rehearsal to tell him to come home so I could go be with mom at her house. When I arrived Amy VW was there and P. Art joined moments later. Honestly, I can't remember much of this time, but lots of phone calls were coming in and going out, we just had lots of questions without answers. Around 10pm Chris came over to your house. In typical guy fashion he couldn't handle just sitting around and waiting and wanted me to ride with him to take your usual route to work. So up we went, taking 2nd and all that. We drove the entire campus and agreed with campus police - your car was not there. Chris believed we should drive through the airport parking lot. At 12:39am we found your car. Chris braved checking inside of it and you were not in there, just your coat and some papers in the front seat, one of which had mom's name on the outside. Long story short, P. Art drove all the way up to the airport to meet us with your keys, at which point we read your prose (it was absolutely breathtaking, incidentally). I wasn't convinced you'd really gone, so we went inside and they checked all gates for us. You were really gone.

We drove home (we left your car there dad, and we know you have the other set of keys. I needed to leave your coat in there, too - it's supposed to be really cold the next couple of days) and Chris had to head home so Cathy could get to work. Mom read the letter to her and we talked about a lot of things. A lot of hard things but a lot...things that you know I have been working at already. The Pella PD called and we had your itinerary. New Zealand. Beautiful I am sure. I would love to visit there some day. But I can't believe you really went. All the way across the ocean to a different country. Wow. I'm speechless, and that just never happens.

I love you daddy. I feel like the little girl who is standing on the front steps, watching her daddy walk away as he grows ever smaller and smaller. She's squinting to try to keep him in her sights. Daddy! Come look what I've made! (caden, avery, declan, macey, madelyn) Don't go, daddy! I don't know how to heal your broken heart. I believe in you, and I cherish you, I want you to be happy. If this is what you need to be happy then please don't let my crying take you away from your happiness. Right now I have been awake for 36 solid hours. I have babies who need me, I have a mom who needs me, and right now all I need is YOU.

Will you please, PLEASE just call one of us, anyone, I don't care, just call and give us something. We need something from you, and not just a letter with no answers.

Day 3 of big boy unders!

The rest of yesterday went very well after I blogged. Around supper time Caden actually got on the potty and peed some!! Now, I've never actually seen Caden pee, but when he was on the potty it all came in little drips here and there and tiny spurts randomly. I know, not exactly a great mental picture but hey, it is what it is. I don't know if he just has that much control over it (would be a very good thing!) or if we have a stream issue, but overnight his diaper is just absolutely SOAKED so I have to assume he does pee a good stream...only when his pullup is on!

This morning he's again naked running around. That's pretty much Caden's favorite attire anyway so it isn't like we're putting him out to do this. We'll keep on keeping on!

My sweet Caden is wearing big boy underwear!

Saturday night Caden had a poopy diaper. As usual, I took him to his bedroom to get him cleaned up, and I asked him if he was done pooping. He told me he wasn't done, so I told him we would sit on the potty and finish up. He likes for me to sit on the side of the tub next to him as he sits up on the big potty (he does this at school, so he knows how to get up and all of that, which is nice!) and we chatted for a bit. I just felt it. I just felt he was ready, so I asked him if he was ready to wear his Thomas underwear and be done with pullups during the day. He said yes. Then I told him we would wear big boy undies all the next week while he was home for Christmas break, and if he did well we'd take him to Wal-Mart to buy something special. He immediately said and signed "train!" so it was settled - if he did it and was mostly successful, we'd be going and getting him a train!

Sunday morning dawned and life went on as usual. I didn't even REMEMBER we were going to go for it until James reminded me! So I went and grabbed his big boy Thomas undies and put them on. He was just fine with it, didn't mind at all. He went to the potty a couple of times, once after I saw a tiny bit of wetness on his undies. He sat up on the toilet, scooted way back, but then told me he wanted me to go, so I went out and tried to spy on him...and he flushed before I could tell if anything happened! I certainly didn't hear anything like peeing either of those times, but truly, could a kid go for 10 hours without peeing? I have to think he did pee in these one of those times. He stayed completely dry until bedtime at 7pm, when we put a pullup on him.

This morning Caden woke up absolutely soaked and also poopy. Think he knows what he's doing much? We got him cleaned up and then put Thomas undies back on for the day. He hadn't tried to pee or anything that I was aware of, but I started pumping him full of liquids early this afternoon. At 2pm he was sitting and watching tv when he got up and looked down at the chair he was sitting on. Uh oh. He went immediately to the bathroom where I peeked in at him via the mirror on the bathroom door...I saw him lean over to look at the front of his undies for a short while, then grab the hand towel and start mopping something up. He was standing RIGHT next to the toilet this entire time. I went in and sure enough, he had peed. I didn't make a big deal, just helped him get up on the potty and told him, "Oh no! You peed on Thomas and Thomas doesn't like that! Can you put your pee on the potty next time?" and he said he would! Now he's running around upstairs stark naked, pushing the bubble mower around. (Incidentally, I felt the chair he got up from and it was completely dry, so he did have the sensation, then get up and make it to the bathroom and get right next to the toilet before going...all good things!)

I feel very encouraged by this. Previously, Caden did not care at all if he was wet or poopy. He didn't seem to be anywhere near ready, but I had the feeling and went with it. If he would potty train, I would feel on top of the world. I've always joked that when Caden potty trains I'm going to take out a 1/2 page ad in the Town Crier (local paper) to congratulate him and let the world know! I have no idea what that costs, but I'm still thinking on it. :)

Spreading (out) a little Christmas cheer.

Christmas seems to come and go in the blink of an eye. This is the first year that we've had any child (Avery) actually be excited about Christmas and understand what's happening, understand that gifts are going to be opened and all of that. It's been fun to watch things through her eyes, but in typical 5 year old fashion she cannot WAIT to get to opening presents when she knows that might be an option. And truly, who are we kidding? We ALL like that part!

Christmas Day was spent with my parents and family. We had a good time, presents were opened, all that jazz. We came home to take a few obligatory pictures with everyone in their good clothes. That was NOT a good thing. Declan was MAD about it all (no nap) and ended up whacking Macey on the head a good 7 times in a row. That made me MAD and I brought him to his crib, then got MAD at James for trying to take too many pictures and setting up the $*^%& tripod when all I wanted was a quick snapshot of our lives. I guess he captured it, but it was total chaos and lots of pent up anger. Merry Christmas!!

I don't know what we were thinking, but we decided to haul the kids upstairs to see the Step 2 roller coaster we had set up the night before. That was a HUGE hit truly, with Avery absolutely loving it and Declan, still tired, tossing fits about it. Caden liked it too, but what he found was the Fisher Price bubble mower we had bought for Declan. Caden fell in love. He pushed that mower ALL around, sending bubbles up everywhere and just enjoying all the noise it made! We decided not to open the few gifts still under the tree for them and sent them to bed instead....where Avery didn't fall asleep until nearly 11pm due to all the excitement!

This morning we headed to James' parents to do Christmas with his family. We had a great time and spent the whole day over there. Then James headed home and I headed to Wal-Mart to check out some 50% off Christmas deals with my mom for an hour. She brought me home and then we had dinner...with Avery begging to open those presents still! God love her, she does NOT forget easily! So we compromised - after dinner we opened stockings (Target dollar spot and Dollar Tree items!). This seemed to appease her, but both Caden and Declan got Slinkys and apparently she wanted one as well. She never threw a fit, but was insistent that she hold one. She finally got to and now she and James are reading the Bible and doing prayers.

Tomorrow, we have promised, we will open the gifts under the tree upstairs. I hope it doesn't disappoint her! I'm sure it won't, she is quite easy to please really. We just feel it's best to spread these things out and not have a bunch of crabby children because they aren't sleeping due to so much excitement. Or perhaps we're shooting ourselves in the foot, because the anticipation of opening gifts is still lingering, causing them not to fall asleep!

Promise you won't tell our kids?

Because if you do, I will tell YOUR kids there is no Santa Claus.

Ok so over the course of the past few weeks I have discovered amazon.com. Now if you know me at all you know that finding something else to obsess about online is not exactly a good thing. Actually it's not a good thing at.all, but I have discovered it and thanks to amazon.com I have scored some AHHHHmazing deals. Most of my packages are due to arrive today and tomorrow. Not a great thing - our driveway is glare ice right now and tomorrow it's supposed to be even worse. But I will not freak out if the items don't make it in time - our kids don't know the difference yet! I just wanted to show you a few of the awesome deals I got for the kids. I signed up for a free trial of amazon Prime which means you get free 2day shipping on nearly all items - totally worth it for these last minute deals! Next year I think I'm going to just wait entirely until mid-Dec and do all my shopping from the laptop!

For Declan:

Melissa and Doug Large Knob Wooden Farm Puzzle 4.99 (retails for 19.99)

For Avery:

board game 4.99 (retails for 14.99)

For Caden:

Melissa and Doug magnetic 'Joey' dress up 4.98 (retails 12.99)

Macey and Madelyn:

Fisher Price Amazing Animals Sing-Along Mommy and Baby Elephant 5.99 (retails 14.99)

And then we splurged a little. With free shipping and some Christmas cash from great-grandparents, we got this for the kids:

Step 2 Up and Down Roller Coaster

We have the room upstairs, and it will be great for them to burn off some energy in these winter months. I know they're going to be so excited - Caden and Avery have played with it before at Menards and we had to drag them away from it.

Money's tight for us. I know this sounds like a commercial for amazon.com and basically it is, but I'm not getting reimbursed for it! I'm just so thankful that they had items at awesome prices so we could give our kids something for Christmas! They wouldn't have known the difference, and we know it's not about the presents anyway, but it's important to me that they got something with a bit of a "wow" factor. YAY!

The tummy bug strikes.

James started feeling queasy yesterday already. He stayed home from getting the groceries with my family to try to feel better before we left for Des Moines...unfortunately, it didn't work. We all decided we didn't want to go without James, so we postponed dinner.

I had to take Caden, Avery and Declan to get their second dose of H1N1 after the groceries. Things went pretty well, thanks to my brother and SIL going with us. We were getting ready to get coats on and Avery starts throwing up - and continues to throw up just standing there. UGH! Total mess, thank goodness I had Chris and Cathy there! We leave from there and head home...

It's at this point that I start feeling queasy. James throws up and then James and I spend a few hours in bed after the 3 little ones go down for nap (Caden helped himself to some yogurt, opened by some scissors, sigh) and I wake up from a snooze to run to the bathroom and throw up. Oh joy!

All the kids are in bed now. James is snoring on the couch. I'm feeling pretty tired so I think it's time to head off for bed. Here's praying we all feel loads better in the morning! Tomorrow night is the kids' Christmas program at church...we shall see how that goes!

We had THREE snow days!

Thanks for checking in with us and wondering if they were back yet, but nope, 3 full days off of school! Was not fun. However, when I had to wake Caden for school on Friday after having 3 days off, he said, "stay home mommy" - it was worth it to hear that much talking! Oh and last Saturday at Christmas program practice at church? All the kids were chatting and Caden was actually doing a decent job of attending, and he decided to put his finger to his lips, "shhhhhhhh"ush everyone, and say, "no talk"!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahaa!! It was hilarious.

So real quickly...Sunday I brought Macey and Madelyn in to urgent care. They weren't doing well with their colds and I was concerned. Sure enough, Madelyn had her first ear infection, her left ear. Macey didn't have an ear infection, but I found out that with twins they treat them both with antibiotics, "just in case". Fun! Remember how I told you twins were doubly expensive? Yup.

Avery finally had her Christmas program for preschool on Tuesday. It was supposed to be the 8th, but got pushed back to the 10th, and pushed back AGAIN to the 15th. It was very cute! She actually sang and did some actions this year, not without playing with her bracelet though, and staring at people behind her, and generally zoning out at times. I'm not sure what is up with her as far as that goes - she rattles off every line and every word here at home but it must be different up on stage.
Christmas activities start for us this weekend, going on Saturday with my family to buy groceries for the food shelf and then going out to eat to Spaghetti Works. Excited about that! M&M have been going to bed around 7:30, wide awake, and last night they made it all the way to 5:30 before waking!! It's usually 4 or so, but last night was great. They have been so down and out with bad colds that there really isn't that much new to report with them, other than they are VERY good babies and my initial prediction is that they are actually mirror image twins - a form of identical twins where they "mirror" each other. I've seen evidence in a few pictures where their mouths are turned down in opposite corners. And most obviously is their self-soothing technique, learned with no assistance from us - Macey sucks her LEFT pointer and middle fingers and Madelyn sucks her RIGHT pointer and middle fingers: identical, yet opposite. Fascinating.

It's a snow day!

They've been forecasting this one for a long time now. Supposedly, we are looking at upwards of 14 inches of snow, plus blowing making for blizzard conditions. So far, nothing is happening and they've canceled school. Which makes me happy on one hand - nothing is happening! Yet sad on the other - they've canceled school. You know I love Caden, I just love him more when he's away from me for scheduled periods of time, lol.

So we're watching Dora's Christmas Carol Adventure, which Avery previously shrieked about, saying it was scary, she didn't want to watch it, turn it off mommy! You get the picture. But I turned it on and recorded it the other day, and now she requests it incessantly. Sigh. I also have a little Macey who has a fever, and just now she took her whole bottle and promptly threw it up ALL over me. Score one for her! The twins are 5 months today, can't believe it!

I was supposed to see my dr today at 4pm for my post partum depression. Um, that's not going to happen. It's somewhat lessened now that I have them going to bed at a more decent hour (7:30-8pm) but I still don't feel like myself at all. Hopefully I can reschedule for when there isn't a blizzard. For now, James is out getting a bunch of groceries...mostly formula which we are too low on for my comfort with an impending snowstorm. Then he'll be home this afternoon and he's thinking tomorrow as well to ride this thing out. You should hear James though, he's always the cynic about these things. He is convinced we're going to just get an inch or two and it'll be over. While I don't love the snow, for once I'd like for him to be proved majorly wrong so I can say, "Ha! God told YOU!"

Thought you might enjoy this picture.

I never knew you could do so much fun stuff with Photobucket nowadays! Enjoy.

I think it's here

and I am truly scared. I think I have post partum depression. It makes it real to say it I guess, somehow. I've been muddling through, thinking it would get better. I thought it was the stress of all of this. I thought I would be fine once they started to get on a schedule. But they are still not on a schedule, not anywhere close. James took over the nighttimes for the holiday weekend and now their sleeping is atrocious. I love him, but I do not know what happened there.

I just feel...sad. I feel blue. I could cry very easily. The colors in my world aren't as vibrant. Sometimes I feel as if I'm hearing things and they are very far away, when in fact they are very close by. Today is the first I've even mentioned it to James, because depression has a way of making you feel you aren't important and that you're a terrible burden to everyone else. But today I said it to him, and he hasn't treated me like I'm a terrible burden.

I want to curl up for a few days (weeks?) and let it pass. I keep praying it will just resolve, but mostly I think I am trying to will it away so I don't have to deal with it again. Most of you know I have bipolar disorder so depression is no stranger to me, it's just that it's been so long really. I have the priviledge of going to the same church as our family dr, so I chatted with him just a bit this morning and he mentioned I could just be cycling low right now and if we tweak my meds I'll feel better. Hopefully that's it.

To be perfectly honest, I DON'T know if it's PPD or if I'm just that overwhelmed with everything I have to do. Pray for clarity, would you? I can handle feeling blue for a while, but I'm still determined to be the best mom I can be. I will still smile and tickle my kids and laugh when they are being silly. But it's going to take an effort right now.

I have failed you...

poor blog. I just don't have time. Imagine that?!?! I want to...I want to keep abreast (sorry, had to use that word) of what's going on but before I know it a day is GONE! Plus if I'm being perfectly honest, by the time I get to morning I don't truly even REMEMBER what time who was up! Yes, it's that bad. James is back in bed with us and we've worked out a system where he goes to sleep with earplugs around 9pm and then he takes the early morning hours shift. I get to put them down for the night but at least I don't have to be up around 3 or 4am. Lately it's still the same - down for sleep with cereal bottles (no, I did NOT mention that yesterday at their 4mo checkups) around 10pm, up between 3 and 4, then up between 6 and 7. Truly it's not so bad, but I sure miss those days of sleeping all the way through the night. I praise the good Lord that our other 3 are excellent sleepers - down at 7pm, up at 7am!

Shopping to help the leukemia and lymphoma society!

My friend Heidi's little boy Ian was just diagnosed with leukemia last month. We've been praying for him, but now there's more we can do. This weekend only, shop at Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy and enjoy 30% off your purchase while giving 5% of those proceeds to the leukemia and lymphoma society! What could be better? Print your coupon (to be used multiple times at all the stores) here. Happy shopping!!!

A few stats while I remember them.

Blogging is like the ultimate baby book. Only problem is, I have to actually remember to go back and write down all the stuff they did once I haul out their baby books! But I had Madelyn in at the dr on Friday for a nasty diaper rash. Turns out it was a reaction to the POS cheap Wal-Mart diapers. Figures that she would have a reaction to something less than Cadillac worthy! So we got that all figured out and I wanted to see what they weighed. My guess was around 12-13 lbs each, with Macey weighing less than Madelyn.

Madelyn was 12lbs9oz, Macey 12lbs3oz. Spot on! They are doing really well. Sleeping is going well. They are swaddled, flat on their backs in their crib, side by side the short way in the crib, sleeping usually from 10pm-4am, bottles, then back to sleep until 7. The 3hr. schedule I've implemented is going very well, and it's nice to know what to expect and when to expect it as far as eating goes. They are still only taking 4oz at a time and Macey is handling medium flow nipples. Madelyn hates those, but she is such an aggressive sucker (lol) that it comes too fast for her!

Your support means so much!

Thank you to all of you for the phone calls, emails, notes on facebook, all of it!! It means so much. I think I am pretty foggy, and I am just not seeing things as clearly as I'd like to. The twins are still very young to be sleeping huge amounts, but I'm comparing to Declan, who slept 10+ straight hours by 7 weeks!

Last night was better. WAY better. We fed them for the last time around 9:30 or so and had them asleep and in their crib just before 10. They didn't wake to feed until 4:30!! That was absolutely wonderful. And then they made it again until 7am. I think I am going to start a 3 hour schedule during the day and allow a 6 hour time frame overnight, so feed at: 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm...4am. They are still only taking 4oz at a time and they still seem to need the slow flow nipples (Macey accepted a medium flow one today without issue but Madelyn got MADDDDDD!) so feedings still take SO LONG, but this schedule would work well for our family and I don't think it's ridiculous to expect them to be on SOME sort of schedule by now. They will be 4 months on Sunday. So we'll go with that. I had to sort of force the 10am bottle this morning but I don't think it will take long for them to get used to it.

Any experience with schedules like that? I can honestly say that I have never regimented myself with any of my other kids but then I've never had twins before either. I'm sure undecided what to do about overnights - like if they ate last at 10pm but are screaming by 2:30 should I just feed them and screw up the schedule? We'll see how it goes.

Thanks again for the support. I do promise pics soon - I even have a new video of them and they are not screaming this time!

I kicked James out of bed again last night.

No worries about our relationship, but honestly we might have issues if these twins keep waking up at all hours of the night. It's driving us insane. I know babies are supposed to be unpredictable and all of that but dear lord, they are so inconsistent we might as well call them politicians.

So I kicked James upstairs to the bedroom to sleep in peace. Apparently I am able to snore through them screaming in stereo, so we deemed it most appropriate for me to remain in the same room with them. Things started off ok. We put them down around 7:00 and they were both asleep! And then it happened. It always does with them. They woke up. And they fussed and fretted, so finally at 8:30 we fed them again and put them down again. Macey fell asleep. Madelyn fussed until 9:30 when she finally fell asleep. And they were out for good. Which leads me to my first question - would you just let them cry at that earlier point until they fell asleep? They will be 4 months on Sunday.

And the night continues. At 2:30 they started crying. I'm not sure who woke up first, but they were both crying before I knew it. And I ignored it. And was able to sleep off and on for another hour. I know, you might think it's horrible but they were right next to me and no one was hurt. At 3:30 I got up and gave them pacifiers, which worked...for about 15 minutes. I finally succumbed and fed them at 4am. Success? Or failure? Again, what would you have done? They had already cried for over an hour at this point....

So yeah, they ate at 4 and I got Madelyn up to change her diaper as she was poopy. I know they were both wide awake at 4:30 when I went back to bed but I turned the light off and I did not hear from them, so I'm assuming they didn't cry too hard to go back to sleep after that. James fed Macey around 6:30 and Madelyn got a bottle around 7am. Not too bad but I'm just unsure of how to go about all of this. I'm serious, if you have advice (even if it's "you did this ALL wrong!") please let me have it. I've never done sleep training with a baby, let alone twins so I don't know how to do it best. I just can't decide if they are young enough that they need to be eating during the night like that or if I should let them cry it out (which I used to be totally against, now I just need my sanity) at various points during the night. Help!!!

Oooohh pictures...

They were not good. Not at all. The short version? Declan was COMPLETELY uncooperative and Madelyn wouldn't stop crying. It was terrible and hilarious all at the same time. Enjoy these pictures, they are doozies.

http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/ThumbAccess.aspx?e=5477817

password: kids

Wow, just...wow.

Things are a tad crazy here. And by that I mean right now. Madelyn is SCREAMING in the crib next to a wide-awake Macey who is just looking around. We've resorted to letting Madelyn cry for the time being (tonight) because she is fed, changed, dry, burped, everything. I feel like I am somewhat losing it with this lack of schedule thing. If you know me at all you know I am not a highly scheduled person, but I do love knowing what to expect with my kids and when naps will happen and how many times I'm going to be up at night, and with these little girls it's all a crap shoot. NOTHING is the same from day to day and it's really HARD. The first few weeks/months I would swaddle them and put them down to sleep (in their carseats, which we don't do anymore, hmmmm) at around 1pn and they would sleep until 5pm, sometimes until 6. It was glorious. I thought I had wonder-babies who regulated themselves into a schedule. Ummmm, no. That has gone away and now it's anyone's guess who will sleep and for how long and how crabby they might be on the other side of it. I'm honestly tired (hahahaha) of it and it's hard of all of us. I am short with my older kids and all of that.

I'll try not to whine from here on out....some updates on our lives.

Caden. My big boy will be SEVEN years old tomorrow, Oct 24! I just cannot believe it. I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished. He is excited about his birthday and says "happy song" a lot...I think that's what he wants to have sung but still won't let any of us actually sing it.

Avery is still really enjoying preschool and doing very well. She's also having a blast with ballet once a week and it's so cute to watch her do that!

Declan is walking. I'm sure I've mentioned that before but it begs repeating. He's such a precious boy toddling around and taking in everything around him. James took him tonight for a haircut because tomorrow we are finally taking all 5 kids to have their pics taken together in their Big Brother Big Sister Little Sister shirts. It's about time, no? I'll share those when we have a link.

It's 11pm

and I am sitting up with a still fussy Macey. This baby girl has decided that you must replace her pacifier every 10 minutes at bedtime and you must attend to her needs for several hours after her twin sister has already been asleep at night. It is getting QUITE frustrating. Madelyn has been asleep for 3 hours now and Macey is finally having another bottle which I hope will send her into sleep as well. She has also decided that she HATES to be swaddled so she wakes herself up during the night as well, again requiring that you replace the pacifier. James has been kind enough to take the 4-4:30 feeding while we are on vacation which I am so thankful for.

Speaking of thankful, I adore my husband. He let me sleep in until 11am this morning. I know some of you just spit out your coffee that a grown woman can sleep that long and others of you are all kinds of envious but yes, I slept in until 11am and enjoyed every second of it! I always say the best sleep happens after 5am. And I got a ton of it today!

Today has been pretty quiet. Caden and Declan have both been napping every day with grandma or grandpa. I think Caden is coming down with something and not feeling 100%. During naptime today I took all 3 of my girls and we drove around for a few hours while James, my dad and brother went to a casino. I found some neat shops that sell primitives that I must get back to before we leave as I couldn't go in anywhere, just drove and found out where they were. Did I mention that we forgot to bring any strollers whatsoever along with us? Brilliant move, for sure. Ugh. But I was able to go into Wal-Mart with the 3 girls. Do you even KNOW how many people say, "Oh, twins?" and I say, "yes", and they say (with 2 pink carseat covers), "boy and girl?" and I say, "no, girls" and they say, "are they identical?" and I say, "yes!" (sooooo thrilled that I know for sure!) and they say, "I always wanted twins."? And I honestly reply, "I never truly wanted twins, but now that I have them I couldn't imagine life without them!"

Does time truly change?

I mean, it has to. How can time move so quickly when you're on a vacation and so slowly when you're at home. Maybe it has to do with monotony. I'm not sure, but I can't believe Monday is drawing to a close already and we're looking Tuesday in the face!

Traveling to Galena was a dream. We never stopped one time except for James and me to use the bathrooms at a rest stop. We each took a turn and left the kids all in their car seats. My parents took Caden and Avery with them so we just had our 3 littlest so it was very quiet. Declan watched Dora's Puppy Power DVD (it's "Daa doo" = Dora to him) and the twins slept. The entire time. Not one peep! Granted, it's only just under 4 hours but still, we thought that was pretty amazing. I got to read some of the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that I got from the library and I'm trying it out...more on that later.

Kristi, before I forget, the jumper is from Southpaw Enterprises that we got for Caden. I can give you more info on it once I get home.

So let's see. We arrived Saturday early afternoon and got settled in. My mom and I took Caden and went to get groceries and eat at Culver's while everyone else stayed in the hotel/condos and ordered pizza. Then it was bedtime - Caden, Avery and Declan are sleeping in with my parents and brother and we have the twins. They are fighting a nasty snotty/full nose so haven't been overly happy here. And then James came down with it last night and today has been taking Alka Seltzer left and right and is just downright miserable. Right now we just caught up on Amazing Race online and he is now snoring next to me.

Ok so sleeping. Um, it's not going the greatest. Mostly it's Macey who doesn't like to settle down and go to sleep without a lot of intervention. The book I'm reading asserts that you put them down after a brief (but consistent) period of soothing, whether or not they are asleep. No problem, that's what we've always done with all of our kids. However, twins are a different ballgame, especially when they are sharing a crib. Macey likes to cry her blessed little eyes out, while Madelyn looks around and then finally goes to sleep without usually any pacifier replacement at all. Last night it took nearly 2 hours to get Macey to finally fall into a deep sleep on her own in the pack n play, and this included MANNNNNNNNNNNY times putting the pacifier back into her mouth (which I'm not even sure is "allowed" according to this book honestly) and tonight it took over an hour. Progress? Sheesh, it's frustrating. But this book says children wake up early and wake up repeatedly during the night because they don't get enough sleep, and putting them to bed earlier will help. So we're trying that. And we're trying to let them cry a little longer (maybe 10 minutes is all I can handle of full-out crying). So far, I can't say I am impressed with the results, but we ARE on vacation and they ARE sick. So we'll see......

Caden and Avery have truly enjoyed the indoor pool. It's nice to see the changes in our kids. Today I was able to take Caden AND Avery to the pool by myself for an hour! Previously, that would have been impossible, and mostly due to Caden, but recently he's come around and is really showing that he can be more enjoyable with things like this, which is SO good for a mommy's heart. Declan got in yesterday, but we put him into his floatie and he SCREAMED so loud I thought the whole place would come running. He was terrified. It took him a long time to smile again, but he did stay in the floatie for a good, long time. I think we'll try again tomorrow when James can help again.

And if you said they were identical twins...

You were correct! They called with the results yesterday morning and they ARE identical twins!! We don't have the paperwork back yet with all the technical stuff, but they are monozygotic twin baby girls. I have to admit, I am THRILLED with this news. I mean, who ISN'T fascinated with identical twins?? It's just such a wonderful blessing from God. Remember when I posted when we found out it was twins and how upset I was? I am so glad I am over that! You probably are, too.

We have some other big news that is much more difficult to share. Friends of ours (Heidi and I have been in Bible studies together and were both leaders together last year) found out just yesterday that their 3 year old has leukemia. This was very difficult news to hear and just so hard to know what to do for them. Ross is a pastor and Heidi is his awesome wife - they have 3 children and live here in Pella. If you want to follow their story you can find out more about little Ian here: https://www.carepages.com/carepages/Ian_Davidson Please be in prayer for them whenever you think about it!!

Tomorrow morning we leave for Galena with my parents and brother. We'll be in touch! I can't leave the laptop at home so you might receive some updates from Illinois!

Some Declan cutes.

He is honestly at one of my favorite ages for little ones. The things he does are so very precious! Like right now, I am at the computer (duh, I know, shut up) and he keeps toddling up to me with mini pumpkins, saying "apple!" so proud of himself! I say, "pumpkin" and he tries it, then comes back with "APPLE!"

His other favorite things are hats. He says "hat" so precisely it makes me laugh. Avery has this big cowboy-style Gymboree straw hat and when he dons that and walks around saying "hat" it just melts me!

He's also in a big Elmo fan stage. Again, hearing him say Elmo with such precision just tickles me. And man, does he love that red little Elmo! Should make Christmas fun and easy!

Another one - "owie". Everything is owie. You change my diaper, it's owie. I put on a hat, it's owie. Which is often followed by whining/shrieking, but we are talking about the CUTE stuff in this post.

So there you have it! I think every mother should take the time to unabashedly brag about her children, and I thank you for indulging me!

Gotta have a little patience.

At least that's what God keeps telling me. Harder, though, to actually practice it at times.

Yesterday was supposed to be the day we got the results of the twins' DNA test. I finally called late into the afternoon (I have, admittedly, been calling there routinely "just to check" on the progress - they SAID it was ok!!!) and there was a problem with the exact machine/robot the twins' test was on. Of course. They were going to have to put it through another robot. Not sure how long it would take, maybe one more day? Maybe more?? Sigh. I want to know SO much. No, it doesn't matter but I just want to KNOW!!! Have patience, God whispers. Easy enough for YOU to say, God - YOU already KNOW if they are identical or fraternal!!

Ok so in other major news around here...Declan is walking!!! Yes, he's going, and he's going like he's been walking for months. Little turd! Friday when Grandma Jean was here she said she remembers he was taking more and more steps, but still crawling quite a bit. Yesterday when she was here he definitely walked more than crawled. It.is.so.flipping.cute to see him toddle all around, I can hardly stand it. PROUD of you little man! It only took 20 months! But who's counting??

For you, Valerie.

It encouraged me to know you have missed my blogging. I can't say that I have much exciting news to report, but I will make an effort to contribute here more. Just be prepared to be bored at times. :)

We do have some small victories going on around here lately. One, Avery has decided that she now likes the Dora Pirate Adventure movie. This is big success. If you know Avery, you know that she is terrified of most movies. Like freaking out, crying, terrified. It's fear of the unknown, we think - nothing has ever really scared her in any movie to our knowledge. But she has always been satisfied with The Donut Man and other children's singing videos, which bore Declan. He prefers the action and adventure of Dora and Diego, y'know? He's a boy! So we've decided we're not catering to her as much anymore and we put Dora on (this specific Pirate video) for the past several days for Declan and she has slowly warmed up to it, finally today REQUESTING it. Holy wow, that is huge. We've also discovered that HEARING the video is her issue. Grandma Jean gave her Tinkerbell for her birthday and we have put it in the laptop for her to watch without sound - THAT was fine, listening to it freaks her out. ????? Honestly, no idea.

Another victory is that Declan is taking more and more steps! Still nothing super consistent but he is choosing to toddle at times vs. getting down and crawling. Still HATES to take your finger(s) and walk with you; it has to be all his idea in his own time. Wonder where he gets that??

We're gearing up for a trip to Galena, Illinois in a few weeks with my parents. We're looking forward to it, though I can't believe "that trip we're going to take when the twins are still tiny" is now looking us in the face! There's a pool there, which excites Avery and I know will be a hit with Caden. Last time we went to a pool Declan wasn't a fan, but I think he might like it if it's just us, and my mom says it's usually quiet there. We'll see how it goes!

Not entirely sure what to say...

as not much has really happened, but I know it's been a while since I posted something new. The sleep thing is still not going well. I'm not sure what to attribute it to overall but did notice thrush in the twins' mouths Sunday morning. I called in this morning and we're back on Diflucan for the 3rd time (and they have been on Nystatin before that). Let's hope this knocks it out because it is just no fun. That's probably part of their problem...maybe a growth spurt is the other part of the problem? Honestly I'm not certain, but I do pray they start sleeping better. My parents kept them overnight on Friday night and we were able to get a good night's sleep which was wonderful.

We tried faster flow nipple this weekend which seemed to work wonderfully - for about 2 feedings. Then they were choking and gagging and retching so that apparently is out and we are back to slow flow nipples.

Perhaps I just needed to blog and complain.

Last night was way better! Granted, it took until 11:30 to get them to fall asleep and stay asleep (they went back into their carseats as Madelyn puked all over everything because she was laying on her back) but they made it until 4:30, took quick bottles and went back to sleep until almost 8am. And then they were awake, alert and happy nearly ALL morning! Heather comes over on Wed mornings to hang out and let me get stuff done (cleaning, organizing, today it was putting out my fall decor) while she watches the kids, and they seriously just chilled in bouncy seats and swings all morning. We brought Avery to school and then came home and I put all 3 littles down for nap and I haven't heard a peep in over an hour now. YAAAAAAAAY!

In other news, the DNA test came today. While Heather was here I roughed up the twins' mouths and then sent the tests back when I brought Avery to preschool. So hopefully we'll have results late next week! I just can't wait! I plan to add a poll to the side to see what you all think...and then we'll see what the test says for sure.

I'm about to get cranky.

The twins are already there. In cranky-ville, that is. I swear, they have totally forgotten how to sleep well and sleep for decent stretches of time. What the heck is going on? It's really starting to tick me off quite honestly.

Tonight, I have replaced the pacis dozens of times. They acted like they hated being swaddled a few nights ago so we stopped that, but I have swaddled them again tonight. Tonight, I removed the car seats from the crib (which they had been sleeping in every night up to now), swaddled them tight, placed them right next to each other in the crib and have walked away....only to return all those times to replace pacifiers. But now I've walked away and it's quiet. Wait no, someone is stirring again. Drat.

You can't let a twin cry when they share a sleeping room. Well, you can, but then you'll have 2 babies awake instead of just one. So hard.

Yep, one is awake again. I'll keep updating but we have waged war on this sleeping crap and I am determined to win.

DNA test is ordered!

It should be here any day. Just as I sat down to type this one of the twins started crying. Nights haven't been good lately, lots of night waking and just general fussiness from both of them (mostly Macey). Pray for us!!

Another twin mommy needs your prayers.

I met this mommy when I was pregnant with Macey and Madelyn. We met via the blogging world because we were both pregnant with twins and one of our twins each had a 2 vessel cord versus a typical 3 vessel cord. And THEN our twins were born exactly a week apart - my 2 girls on July 8 and her two boys on July 15 (a match made in Heaven perhaps? lol)! Boden and Potter are doing well, as are Macey and Madelyn. It's their momma who needs your prayers right now.

Kristen was having pains in her upper back and went to have a CT scan to rule out blood clots. It showed no blood clots but did show a 3 cm mass in her chest below her bronchial tubes which is in a suspect location for lung cancer. On Sept. 1 she had a test and the dr was "very concerned" as the mass is sizeable - it's either lung cancer or a fungus, and signs are pointing away from the fungus possibility. Basically, she's already had a lot of tests but she is STILL waiting to hear results. Her next test is scheduled for the 23rd when they will get a tissue sample that they are confident with give them a diagnosis.

Kristen is scared and she is a brand new mommy to 2 beautiful boys. She has a strong faith in God but we all know that doesn't make things perfect and easy. PLEASE pray for Kristen, her husband and her baby boys. Please pray that this is not cancer. Pray for her peace as she has two newborns and is already stressed and sleep-deprived, and now dealing with this on top of it all. Pray for a miracle - that God would remove the mass completely when she goes for her next appointment. Just pray, knowing that God is in control and that He is with her all the time. He is mighty to save.

A sick 5 year old and double the shots...

for the tiny princesses. Macey and Madelyn had their 2 month checkups today. Heather came and stayed with Avery and Declan while I took M&M. Macey is 20.5 inches and 9lbs 11.5oz. Madelyn is 20.5 inches and 10lbs 2oz, so still very close to each other. Macey checks out just perfectly all around. Madelyn has a left clogged tear duct, diastasis (tummy muscles stick out, same thing I have now that I had twins) and a small umbilical hernia. They did very well, even talked to the doctor some. He said we do need to keep in mind that they were born 3 weeks early, so things like them not smiling much at all yet don't concern him very much. They both drink 4oz of formula at a time and are still very drooly with it - they need burp cloths under their chins at all times! They are sleeping one 6 hour stretch at night, and then smaller sleeps after that 6 hour stretch. I joked on Facebook that the very next person to ask me how they are sleeping gets to take the next night shift...and I noticed that no one has asked me since! And yes, we immunize on time/schedule and they each had 3 pokes today. SO sad. Double the tears, and very hard for our loving nurse, she felt so bad! This afternoon they are restless for their naps, understandably so I am sure.

Avery. She told me this morning she wasn't feeling well, said her throat hurt and asked me to take her temperature. I did, no fever. So we went about our day, she stayed home with Heather and did tell H that her side hurt, but other than that nothing strange. We went for a drive over the lunch hour since someone was here spraying the house for bugs (crickets galore in here, driving me batty) and she was fine again. I dropped her off at preschool at 12:30, and when I went to kiss her forehead she felt HOTTTTT. I tried to take her temp at preschool with the under tongue thermometer they have there but she panicked (she's used to the ear thermometer at home) and said she wanted to go home. So home we went. She is now asleep on the couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to use that many exclamation marks because she never, and I mean NEV-AH falls asleep during the day, hasn't since she was 2. So I know there's something up for sure.

Haven't ordered the DNA kit yet. I wanted to research which company gets you results back quicker. Which is downright hilarious now considering I probably could have had results back from BOTH places in the time I am wasting doing my research. Always want the most bang for my buck, you know! Or in this case, the most bang for someone else's buck. Either way, I am way too bargain-shoppery for these kinds of things apparently.

OH! And how could I forget? The twins' baptism is this Sunday at 11:00am. All are welcome! If you don't know where we attend church just email me and I'll let you know. My mom made the baptismal gowns and oh my goodness they are GORGEOUS. Smocking, people, there is lots of smocking!!

Some people are truly generous.

We just got a check in the mail from a dear friend. The memo said this: "FIND OUT!" So my friends, we are finding out if Macey and Madelyn are identical or fraternal! I am ordering the kit, like, NOW!!!

Thank you, friend, from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me and I am SO excited!! You will be the first to know. :)

Lots of questions about the identical thing!

Let me see if I can clear this up. When I was pregnant with the twins, the perinatologist told me he thought the girls were identical twins. This was because they shared one placenta, were both the same gender and had a very thin membrane dividing them instead of a thicker one like you might see with fraternal twins. Remember, we had no early ultrasounds with these girls, which is when it's easier to see if they are close together in a more shared sac or further apart in 2 obviously different sacs. It is VERY rare and extremely dangerous for twins to share one sac completely as their umbilical cords can get tangled in one another and lead to possible death. Our girls didn't share a sac, we know that for sure (I would have been on big time bedrest and would have delivered much earlier) but the separating tissue between the sacs was thin, almost transparent. Which again, led the perinatologist to believe they were identical twins. And we believed him and said they were, because what do WE know compared to him, right??

Fast forward to the letter we got after the twins were born that detailed the pathology of the placenta. Turns out, the placenta MAY have been 2 separate placentas that eventually fused into one placenta. Again, we had no early ultrasounds to show if there were 2 placentas to begin with, so when we saw the ultrasounds it looked like one shared placenta. If there is just one placenta then we could be 100% certain they are identical twins. If it WAS 2 placentas that fused into one bigger placenta that leads away from identical twins and more toward fraternal twins. However, there are exceptions to every rule, as we're finding out with twins.

The pathology report used terms like "fused twin placenta", "a central membrane divides the two placentas", and "sections of the rolled central membrane confirms a diamnionic, dichorionic architechture". Now again, that doesn't mean jack squat because diamniotic/dichorionic (di/di) twins can be EITHER identical OR fraternal, lol! 25% of identical twins are di/di twins:

[edit] Dichorionic-Diamniotic
Normally, twins have two separate (di- being a numerical prefix for two) chorions and amniotic sacs, termed Dichorionic-Diamniotic or "DiDi". It occurs in almost all cases of dizygotic (fraternal) twins (except in very rare cases of fusion between their blastocysts[22] ), in 99.7% of all pregnancies,[23] and in 18–36%[24] (or around 25%[22]) of monozygotic (identical) twins. Dichorionic-Diamniotic twins form when splitting takes place after the third day after fertilization.[22]DiDi twins have the lowest mortality risk at about 9 percent, although that is still significantly higher than that of singletons. [25]

Most of this has to do with when the egg actually splits, on which day after fertilization (that is, of course, if the egg did split and they are identical). If you're interested, there's more information here.

So DNA testing is really the only way we can know for sure, with a set-up like our little princesses have. Does it really matter? No, it really doesn't. But I want to know what happened inside me! Did I produce 2 eggs? Will I start the process of twins "running in the family"? Or did my fertilized egg split? Plus it's the #1 question we get asked - are they identical? And it really stinks to have to say, "We have no idea!"

I think everyone should be able to see these...

here are some recent pictures of the twins together and some of them separate. They are becoming so alert and awake, which is lots of fun!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=35763&id=1383216710&l=ebd9f86805

The silence is deafening.

I'm sitting here sipping my Mt. Dew and eating a Hershey's bar dipped in peanut butter (shut up, you know you want to), and it's completely quiet (save for the rattle-trap refrigerator, on its last leg). That is nearly unheard of around here, especially at 1:30 in the afternoon. Caden is off to Kindergarten of course, same as every day. Declan and the twins are down for nap and sleeping. And miss Avery is off to preschool! Normally she would be sitting here, hounding me for something to dooooooooooooo as she dislikes tv/movies and can't entertain herself worth a toot. Which is precisely why I chose afternoon preschool MWF so she'll be outta here during naptime and I can do whatever I want (provided everyone else naps, of course). Yahooooey! She's at the same Christian preschool she attended last year. She'll go this year and be all ready for Kindergarten next fall. I can hardly believe it! Avery also started dance class last night and will go every Tuesday. It was so stinkin' cute I could hardly stand myself. Cuteness overload...a bunch of 3-5 year olds in pink tights, shoes and leotards with their little hands over their heads and all of it. She LOVED it, said her favorite part was "being a butterfly!!"

Happy 2 month birthday yesterday to the twins, can't believe that either!

In other news, I now feel like a total donkey for asking for money in a previous post because a) no one has sent anything and b) we now need at least 2 new tires on our van and probably a good deal of front end work to correct the problem that's making our tires go bad and giving the steering wheel a good shudder. AND we need new carseats for the kids so that we can fit 3 kids across the back of the van - it's not currently working well, but we can't drive the van all the way to Des Moines with the tires as bad as they are in order to test what carseats will work back there. Yes I know, whineeeeee but I must be honest. So it's priorities, people, and the DNA testing will have to wait. Heather says they're identical. I say they look like little old men. One of us is right. Maybe both of us.

If you've ever wondered what it's like when BOTH twins cry at the same time...

here ya go. It's just too cute not to take some video of!!! Macey on the left, Madelyn on the right (as per usual):

I have no shame

AND a great thought just occurred to me. I can't be the only one who wants to know for sure, without a doubt, whether or not Macey and Madelyn are identical or fraternal twins, right? The only way to know for sure is to do a DNA test via cheek swab. There are several reputable companies to get your at-home kit from (we know from other twin parents) but there's a catch - it's anywhere from $150-200 for the whole shebang. Now, I don't know about you but that's a TON of cash for us to come up with. So, here's my shameless plea and "great idea" all rolled into one - if you want to know and you feel inclined to help, would you please send us some funds via paypal at verhoef@wildbluepella.org (send it as personal/gift, because it is!) and we'll see how quickly we can reach our goal and get the kit? I'm serious. James would be throwing a FIT right now, hahahaha! But honestly, I'm serious. If you can send $1, great. If you can send $100, great. If you can't send anything, great. If you don't WANT to send anything, great (we'll still let you know when/if we ever find out though, lest you think I am vindictive). Let's do this! Amaze us people!!!

Avery's test went super!

Have I mentioned before that she was a super star? She was a super star again. FLOORED me. She didn't even blink when the catheter went in and wasn't in the least freaked about it either. We had talked a lot about it and I had explained very completely what all would happen so there would be no surprises. She did whimper a little when she had to move with the catheter inserted, said it hurt. And she said that it did hurt when it was removed. But no tears!! The last part of the test requires the patient to pee all over the xray table and she tried but she just couldn't. I think we tried for 30-45 minutes and nothing. So they let her go on the potty and then jump back on the table for a few more xrays. They told us that the age range of 4-7 often has a hard time letting go of their bladder like that on a table when they have been so trained to go on the potty. (I had asked Avery to practice the other day on a towel and while she thought it was immensely hilarious, she didn't have success then, either.) Results came back - normal! So now we just try to do a better job of wiping, hand washing, etc. I admit, it's easy to be lax about that when I am feeding a baby and don't have the time to run in there and make sure she wiped correctly and washed well, kwim? So we'll try to do better and hope that she has no more UTIs. She hasn't complained today about anything hurting and she hasn't gone as often as the other day either. I think maybe it was nerves...

Still on the Avery topic, she basically went from the VCUG test over to the clinic for her 5 year well-child check. Since I had promised her no more ouchies for the day we waited on the shots until she starts Kindergarten next fall. She is 40 inches tall (16th %) and 36lbs (24th %) - she's a peanut! She wears 3/3T clothing still, with some generous 2T that still works fine. She passed with flying colors. We did talk some about her propensity to complain about her tummy hurting. After a complete physical and also xrays of her mid-section during the VCUG, our dr is pretty convinced it's an anxiety thing. I would concur.

Some milestones: Declan stood today completely by himself in the middle of the floor without anything helping him to his feet! He's been standing, letting go of stuff, etc, but never up from the floor completely on his own. He also took about 6-7 shuffle steps tonight to get to the Cozy Coupe car outside (mommy's garage sale find last Friday, woot!). I think September is going to be his month.

Macey smiled now as well. Heather was the first to have seen it while she had the twins and Declan during all of Avery's ordeals yesterday (have I told you how much I love you, Heather??). I haven't seen it yet and I tend to say it doesn't count until it's at mommy, but Heather swears it was the real deal. So just a few days apart from each other they smile. Awwwww!

Life never grows dull around here...

We are one day past the last day of Avery's medication for her UTI and guess what? She has peed very frequently this evening and tells me that her bottom hurts when she goes, after I prodded her for the information. UGH! She's supposed to have the VCUG tomorrow morning and I don't know if they'll do it if she's got another active UTI. I hope they do so we can get it over with (she knows it's coming and we'd ALL like to just be done with it) but I'm not sure what will happen. I'll update after tomorrow...

Caden seems to be doing just fine in school! He has breakfast as school as well so it's a big day for him!

Declan is soooo close to walking. Tonight I came home after having been gone for several hours and he was excited to see me, so excited he allllmost walked to me, but then nope, decided crawling was better. Silly boy!

Madelyn hasn't smiled again. James said Macey smiled at him tonight but I don't believe him.

And that is just about it!

Madelyn smiled!

Today is a big day - Madelyn smiled at mommy! It was quick, it was brief, but it was oh so adorable. The girls are becoming more and more tuned in to faces and watching you while you talk, and today as I was getting Madelyn ready for her afternoon nap she smiled! The right corner of her mouth goes up when she smiles. We've also noticed that Madelyn has a dimple in her left cheek, down low but just precious.

Keep Avery in your thoughts. On Wednesday morning she has to have a VCUG test (catheter, ultrasound, not fun) done and she is not looking forward to it. She's had 2 UTIs within the past month and the dr wants to make sure she's not refluxing urine. So please pray that it goes smoothly and that she is as cooperative as usual.

Happy 5th Birthday Avery Sue!!!

Today marks the 5th anniversary of the first time we met our little girl. Today has been a good day, filled with doing everything she wanted to do and getting to choose everything, etc. We've had a great day together as a family!

School went well I hear!

The note that came home with Caden said he was happy and had a good day. He also peed through his shorts - cute little plaid orange, white and brown shorts. Like a space cadet I decided I didn't need to send extra clothes already on the very first day, so of course he had to wear something from the office. I guess the best they could find was a pair of red shorts, which looked smashing with his orange polo shirt. Woo hoo! Leave it to me to give a crap, Gymbo fanatic that I am.

So yeah, it went well. I'm somewhat apathetic about the entire thing, but when your child is doing Kindergarten for the 2nd time you sort of feel like you're entitled to be snobbish. Or maybe that just comes naturally and I'm just now admitting it. HA!

I am sitting here on the bed willing Macey and Madelyn to go to sleep and stop the paci spitting out tricks. I hear one of them starting up again. James is apparently very tired (what's new?) and just rather grumpily tossed his head down on the mattress and his pillow over his head. Babies too noisy much? It was much more fun making these babies than getting woken up by them, that much we agree upon.

It was Macey bellering again. I think that's because she was James' baby tonight. We have this bizarre thing...maybe it's common for twin parents? Which ever baby each one of us has becomes "our baby" for the night. Like tonight at bedtime (I had them for most of the night after the other kids' bedtime because James ran out on a formula run) James swaddled Macey and got her snuggled into her carseat and I swaddled Madelyn and got her into her carseat. So therefore when one starts crying we'll ask "which one?" and the person who can see the babies will say "yours" or "mine". Apparently that is easier than saying their names?? I'm not sure why we started that. Probably to harrass the other person about their obvious lack of baby skills. Such as James' swaddling job tonight. She's crying again, and she isn't swaddled worth a toot. James' baby. 'Nuff said.

Alright, so I just stuck what was left of her bottle back in her mouth and she is taking that. Hopefully she'll be off to dreamland in a matter of minutes like her little sister Madelyn is already.

We could use a few prayers if I'm to be perfectly honest and I always think that is the best policy. James has been a little slower at work (economy, we think, but it's hard to tell for sure) and things are pretty tight for us. We aren't scared and we aren't hungry, but things are tighter than they've ever been for us and it's somewhat unsettling. We feel like it's a good lesson for tightening things up and perhaps forcing us to believe that we are finally done having kids (hahahahaha) but prayers for peace are always welcome.

My life is not my own.

This is not a new realization to me, especially as a Christian (and what a comfort it is as a Christian to know I am not in this life alone!) but it is somewhat of a stark realization when you have twins. I feel very much like I have no time to myself for much of anything. Even in the quiet moments, I'm always waiting for one to start crying. When do they self-entertain, even for just a little bit?? When do they let you eat a meal without hollering to be held? When do they...wait, I realize I am asking for them to grow up and that's truly not what I want, but I would like a little bit of a life back.

Quickly, because one is crying again...Caden went to meet his teacher today and what a sweetheart she seems to be! I think it's going to go well for him. He was thrilled to see so many familiar faces and he got lots of "Hi Caden!"'s in the hallways.

And now they are both crying. Bye!

Two days until school starts!

I know. You're tempted to think I must be a horrible mother if I am THIS excited about school starting. You're WAY wanting to laugh if you remember me saying I wanted to homeschool my brood. But the fact is Caden is bored. And I am bored of trying to come up with new, exciting voices for "Caden, go to time out!" It is such a good thing I take good meds. Serious.

Not much new to report. Sleep is going the same - 10pm-4am typically, then bottles for each and back to sleep until around 8. When school begins on Thursday I'm actually going to have to step it up and get out of bed before that 8am time. Not so much looking forward to that (if you know me at all you know I dislike mornings...greatly) but the routine of it all will be refreshing. It's funny - both of our older two kids are doing exactly what they did (school-wise) last year. It's like we're stuck, but yet they have grown so much. Avery (will be 5 on Sunday!!) will be doing preschool again in the regular program (there's also a step up program for older kids but her birthday is late enough that we chose the regular program once again) and Caden is repeating Kindergarten with a new teacher. I think we are going to see very different kids at the end of this school year, kids ready for Kindergarten and 1st grade!

Now I'm sad. Why do I always jump ahead of myself like that???

Declan took 3 steps!

I don't think he realized what he was doing and after the steps were done he was NOT interested in trying any more, but yesterday at the campground he took 3 steps while holding on to a book and trying to get to the walker/toy! I was so excited. We think that he is so close, he just lacks confidence. He went all over with his walker while camping, walking very long distances, so the stamina is there.

We really had a great time camping. It was fun to catch up with cousins and family. Even though we live close we never seem to take (or make, perhaps) time to really connect and talk so it was great to spend some time with everyone. The cousins had a really fun time playing together as well which was fun to see.

School starts on Thursday for Caden! Bring it on!!!

Six weeks old and how they've grown!

I took the girls today for weight checks as yesterday marked their 6 week birthday. Macey is now 7lbs 12oz and Madelyn is 7lbs 15oz! More than 2 pounds each of growth since birth. It's hard to believe. They are still fitting nicely into preemie clothing so I didn't figure they would be so close to 8lbs but they certainly are. I guess Similac agrees with them. :)

No smiles from the twins yet, but they seem so close. I said that last week, didn't I? Tonight James was holding Madelyn and I got into her line of sight. She locked eyes with mine and reacted so obviously and so strongly with pleasure, it was so precious and so good for my heart! Their sleeping is still about the same, though last night they went from 10pm - 4:30am and that was a very long stretch for them. Typically they wake between 2am - 4am for their feeding, but just once a night at 6 weeks old is better than I ever imagined for twins. Daytime is still pretty rough, admittedly. They don't seem to settle unless they are being held. It's honestly like a light switch - pick them up and they are quiet. Do you think they are playing us? I remember Declan at this age and he would be content to sit in his swing for hours. NOT M&M. They like to be held and that is that.

We're headed out camping again this weekend. We'll be going with James' folks and his sister and family. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend, complete with overnight weather well-suited to campfires. Looking forward to it! I'm already more comfortable with everything this time around than I was camping just 3 weekends ago. Things are settling in.

Having twins means you can't get anything done.

I just said that to James, though it's not entirely true. I was trying to tackle some laundry and Macey just wouldn't be persuaded to be quiet and calm! Madelyn is sleeping soundly but Macey is fussy. James came home early (we have dental appointments for Caden and Avery in Des Moines this afternoon) and I was telling him that it's just so hard to get things done! Now that he's home I am able to blog and the laundry is still sitting there. Ha!

I have found that these girls do not sleep well unless they are swaddled. I think I am going to start swaddling them for naps in the morning and afternoon instead of just at night, otherwise I can't get much accomplished. Speaking of at night, last night was horrid. I thought I would try to swaddle them but put them down in the crib. Apparently they like sleeping in their car seats better, holy poo! I was up and down for most of the night. Even after putting them into their car seats in the middle of the night they didn't settle into a good sleep. I put some miles on my legs during the night, and they sleep in the same room with us. It was a jack-in-the-box kinda night for me.

So let's see. The Open House was great, it was wonderful to see so many people we haven't seen in a while and to share conversation and food with them! We also made it to church and saw people there on Sunday morning, but if it weren't for a family member's baptism that morning we wouldn't have gone - things went haywire as we were trying to get ready! (No, not the twins' baptism yet, that's coming soon.)

My rash has spread to my arms mostly but is starting also on my back and tummy. It's mostly gone from my face but has left my face horribly dry and itchy. Oh the joys never end!

Forgot to add - Happy 19months today Declan! May your walking come SOON!!!

Holy house blitz!

Days like today are truly humbling. These are the kinds of days when you know you love your family and friends, but you don't realize how blessed you really are. To make a long story very short, we had TONS of help over here today to blitz the house, both inside and out, and we are simply stunned at how everything is coming together! Dirt has been hauled in the blistering heat, windows have been washed that haven't been touched in YEARS up in dormers, floors have been vacuumed, porch ceilings have been painted and all the while babies were fed and rocked while older kids had a blast with cousins. We're really excited for this Open House tomorrow! James and I have several things to do still in the morning but then at 1pm we'll throw our doors as wide open as we can without air conditioning the outside and welcome our dear ones in to see what we've worked so hard at! But we truly can't thank all of those who've worked so hard all the while, today and all days previous.

Twins are doing great. Madelyn is pukey today but her thrush is also back, so we're back on Diflucan. I don't think I gave it for enough days last time, oops! Hopefully this kicks it for good. Last night Macey tried to wake up at 2am, I offered the paci, she tried again at 2:20am, I wouldn't be deterred and offered the paci again and they both made it until nearly 5! That was nice.

OK, I must work on a possible picture slideshow for tomorrow's festivities. Ni-night!

Happy 5 weeks Macey and Madelyn!

I just hopped on here to update quick and of course one of the girls has started screaming....more later.

Yesterday morning I woke up and guess what was back? The PUPPS rash of pregnancy. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was on my face and through the day it started spreading, so I called and yes, it can come back and yes, he would give me steroids. I started those already and my face is slightly better this morning but now it has spread to my ear and fingers. I HATED this rash with the twins and never thought it would come back after pregnancy, but here it is. I look just lovely, ugh. Plus it's really itchy and it's just making me grumpy.

In other news, the girls are 5 weeks today. I can hardly believe it but a calendar never lies (unless you're really sleep deprived or you're 4 years old and insist you're always right). I'm not certain if they adjust age for being born at 37 weeks but when you think that they should only be 2 weeks after their due date they are doing so so so so so well. No smiles as of yet but they are starting to really lock eyes with you when you hold them and it looks like they are SO close to smiling! They have different personalities, but neither one is SUPER strong in one direction. I would have been able to tell you in utero and it's holding true now - Macey (baby A) is more laid back and easy going (cries softer, cries less) and Madelyn (baby B, the one hogging all the room always) is more demanding (cries louder, more often, needs to be held). They both have amazing head control. Madelyn really likes to be held under her armpits, looking into your eyes and just hang down, sometimes not even resting in you in any way, just hanging loose. I tried Macey in the sling last night and that was a BIG hit! She came outside with me and James while we cleaned up toys out there and just looked around, loved it. Madelyn was wide awake on the changing table that whole time (it has sides all around it and they love to lay there and look at our ceiling fan). Sleeping is going very well. They go down for the night around 10pm and normally don't wake until 4am, so 6 hours. Then they eat quickly (we actually prop their bottles and go back to bed and rest/sleep...when they're done they spit them out! Easy peasy!) and we're all back asleep for another 3 hours or so. At this point they are regularly taking 3oz bottles and sometimes moving toward 4oz, just depending. We haven't done a super great job of working to schedule them together but they are somewhat doing it on their own. Daytime isn't as scheduled but I am certainly not a scheduled person so we're all doing just fine with that. I don't know what they weigh but preemie clothes are still fitting them just fine.

So that is that! My FIL is here this week working to finish up our front porch which will be wonderful to have done before the open house. I worked like mad yesterday with the help of Grandma Jean (our respite provider for Caden) to clean this place and am happy with the work I got done. I have to be ok with the fact it's not going to be perfect, but I doubt ANYONE expects this place to be perfect with our family dynamics, right??

Totally fun weekend!

James and I have had a blast this weekend, and truly we haven't done much of anything! We have finally found a couple friendship and we are all smitten, LOL! Heather and I have known of each other for years, but it wasn't until Facebook brought us back together that we really started talking about one year ago. That was surfacy until early this past winter when we actually started hanging out some. And truly, the rest is history. We call, we text, we shop, we eat, we hang, we watch kids, we are sisters by heart, best friends by choice. And then we realized that our husbands are a LOT alike. So we hung out as the 4 of us a few times. And our husbands hit it off! So this weekend, we have been together a ridiculous amount of time and it just makes our days go by so fast with newborn twins. I was very concerned about being "stuck at home" with no one to talk to and all of that, but having a true best friend and just being so comfortable with another young family is truly an amazing gift from God. I have never had a super close friend as a married mom and I never realized what I was missing out on! And we never had couple friends save for our sibs and their spouses...I don't mean to go on and on but truly, my heart is lighter, my days are shorter, the sun shines brighter and I feel so blessed that I just have to share it. And the icing? Dan and Heather have a 5 year old with special needs. You know you "click" when you have that commonality.

And again, my parents took the twins overnight on Friday night for us! It is always a huge gift to us to have that continuous sleep. They went down for the night around 10 and woke up just after 3am, then they were pretty restless for the rest of the early morning for them. I know it wasn't a wonderful night of sleep for you guys but THANK YOU from the bottoms of our hearts for that!

Last night the twins FINALLY got it together. And for those of you insinuating that I am complaining about their sleep, I am NOT, I am simply trying to keep a running tab on how they were sleeping at each time in their life. That kind of stuff intruiges me and I didn't keep a record with any other child. I want to with them! Last night they slept from 10pm-5am straight, BOTH of them!! That's 7 hours. We were so impressed at how smart they obviously are, LOL!

This week we'll be gearing up for an Open House we're having out here on Saturday. If you think I'm insane for having an Open House with 5 week old twins and 4 other kids you're somewhat correct, but we wanted a way for people to come meet the twins (we haven't made it to church yet, imagine that?) and to see our house in its (mostly) finished state. Over 4 years ago we started a rennovation project to our existing tiny house and now it is quite a big house that we are proud of and have done a lot of work to - with the help of MANY dedicated family members (mainly my FIL) and friends. So now, we want to let people see the house and snuggle a baby or two. Oh, and friends from church are doing all the food for it so again, I'm not entirely off my rocker! You are all SO welcome to come, and how I wish I could gather everyone who reads together to have a chat fest. But seriously, if you read this and you want to come you probably know where we live or you can contact me and I'll see if I want to give you directions. HA!

Caden's registered for school again!

I went this morning to register Caden for Kindergarten. Yes, he's already done K but he's repeating it because the goals and skills he's working toward are very K appropriate. His teacher is brand new to the school this year, though she has taught K for 5 years already. He will have the same wonderful 1:1 associate he had last year and that is a big relief for me. I worry some about a teacher who might not know him, etc, but I'm sure things will work out. I know he'll have a great time no matter WHAT the rest of us do/say/think!

Declan will go in an hour to have his lala checked out. I have a feeling we'll be going to an antibiotic for it. My guess? Cephalexin. Will update once I know.

Avery and I are working on her bedroom lately. She got new bedsheets thanks to Grandma Sue and she loves them...but last night was the first night she would have slept in them and she decided she wanted to sleep on the top bunk instead. Figures. Also last night she slept with 8 little braids all over her head and today has (frizzy) wavy hair! She likes it. The jury's still out for me.

The twins did well last night, and they weren't overly cranky all evening for once! It seems the hours between 6-10pm are prime fussy time and boy it's a workout to have them then. Last night wasn't nearly as bad that way. They finally went down to sleep at 11pm and then both woke at 4am and again around 7:30am. I can't complain!

Hooray for more independence - Declan!

No, not walking yet, but he JUST went DOWN our front porch steps all by himself! Maybe it's one less thing where I'll have to carry him!

And now Madelyn proves to us she can also do it.

Sleep a super long stretch, that is. She went from 9:30pm - 5am, so 7.5 hours! Why is it that they never do it together? Macey was more fitful all night, just not totally settling in. She went from 10pm - 2:30, then again around 7am. Someday, I'm not even going to remember this, right?

Today my oldest 2 are shipped out to random places. Caden is with Charon, his awesome 1:1 aide from school! She called and offered to take him and I of course said yes so he was picked up at 10 and won't be home until 6pm! Avery is at her friend Gretchen's house for the day. Gretchen and Avery are only 4 days apart and will both be 5 years old at the end of this month! I'm sure they will have loads of fun. Gretchen was going to introduce Avery to the world of Polly Pockets - big fun! I'm always looking for things that Avery can self-entertain with as she is VERY poor at that. She is always wanting to hang around me or have me entertain her in some way and I get VERY tired of it, especially with 2 newborns in the mix.

Avery's test results -

all normal! Thank you God!

Last night was a more decent night of sleep. Macey and Madelyn went from 11pm-4am, so a 5 hour stretch they did together, which was nice. Then they went again until nearly 7am.

A big thank you today goes out to Leslie and her sister for the huge respite for me - they watched all 5 of my kids plus Leslie's own 3 month old for several hours while I did a whole lot of nothing at Wal-Mart and Goodwill. It was so fun and SO needed, so thank you!!

All taken today - enjoy!

A few days have passed...

because there's really not that much to say. It's been a lot of the same thing. The sleeping is going the same pretty much - we get 4-5 hour stretches but not necessarily at the same time and never from the same baby two nights in a row! It's actually kind of hilarious. They'll take turns sleeping well it seems. We were waking the sleeping baby to feed her when the first baby woke up, but we're not always doing that anymore since they've proved to be able to do up to 8 hour stretches...in other words, if Madelyn is screaming for a bottle and it's been 4 hours and Macey is sleeping peacefully, we'll leave Macey alone until she wakes on her own. Sometimes it makes for an extra time we wake up, but typically it works out. We started the "shift" routine a few nights ago - I take the bedtime - 3:00am shift and James takes from 3:01 on, meaning that I have them again by 6:30, but I can usually sleep until around 8am with this schedule, off and on of course.

Declan's bottom seems to be better. We switched to Lotrimin instead of Nystatin and it seems better. So far, no drs visits for it.

Avery's bladder and kidney ultrasound went super today, she was so cooperative and did so well. We don't have results from that back yet but her repeat pee-in-a-cup test was negative, so at the very least we know the antibiotics did their thing.

Camping is over...we survived!

But very glad to be home. The weather was UNNNNNNNNNNNNbelieveable. I've never seen such mild temps in July and August. Loved that!

Last night I was the only one who got up with Macey and Madelyn (James is getting cranky over how often he has to get up, and it is admittedly more often than I get up...but that's a rant for another day by me) and they aren't doing so well. It's back to every 3-4 hours again. Madelyn actually did much better than Macey Friday night but last night neither one did super. I'm hoping that being at home will do them good.

Their thrush is nearly all gone however! Yay for Diflucan!

Declan's la-la is very very sore again. I have a feeling we'll be seeing the dr in the morning sometime. Also, Avery's UTI results came back. She needs to have an ultrasound of her kidneys and bladder on Tuesday at 11:30. It's more just as a precaution rather than there being something "really wrong", but it's always tough to juggle all these appointments with so many kids!

We're on to a better medicine for thrush!

I called our dr. and specifically asked for Diflucan. Gave them each their first dose last night and last night's sleep was much better. Madelyn actually had a 6 hour stretch! Macey didn't do as well but James also didn't swaddle her. We stayed home last night but plan to go out tonight again camping for the weekend!

A very happy anniversary today to my in-laws!!! Not sure how many years but it's been lots of years and I think it's so neat that both of our sets of parents are still married after all these years!

We got cocky.

What can we say? We thought we were "all that", able to camp and everything like that with newborns. Last night didn't go so well. At all. James finally just up and left the campground completely at 4:30am - nice!! At that point he wasn't so much deserting us as he was planning to just stay awake to get to work on time. Macey and Madelyn were fussy ALL night, never really having a nice stretch of time where they slept well. Their thrush is really awful, especially Madelyn. I have called the dr about it and I think we'll need to move on to something else for them because the Nystatin is not clearing it up and I think they are grouchy because of the thrush.

So no 8 hour stretches, lol. I don't know if we'll spend the night out there or not tonight. I think I'd prefer not to.

Happy due date Macey and Madelyn!

Today is the day we were all anticipating...July 29. When I first found out I was pregnant I was sure I would be still pregnant today and would probably even deliver in August. Little did I know then it was twins and they'd be evicted at 37 weeks! So today marks M&Ms 3 week birthday and their official due date. Thrilled they are here and doing so well!

Those of you who know us know we love to camp. James' cousin Greg and his wife Melissa had a baby last weekend and Greg's brother Jer and his wife Jaci came from NW Iowa to see them (and us, of course!). They love to camp as well so we decided to pull our camper to the campground last night and set up next to their pop-up. We all 7 stayed overnight last night and it truly didn't go horrible! Macey didn't have anywhere close to an 8 hour stretch again (I should have knocked on some wood) but she did a 4 hour stretch and Madelyn did a 5 hour stretch, so we're getting there! We'll see what tonight holds. I think M&M got cold last night - it's been weirdly cool for July, but we'll take it!

Macey gets the gold star for sleeping!!

This girl seems to have figured it out! Last night she did an 8 hour stretch - 10pm to 6am! It makes SUCH a difference to get all that sleep!! Madelyn is a different story, but we're working her through it!

The sleeping continues to go well!

I should knock on some wood, but instead I'm praising God! Last night little Macey slept for 6 straight hours. And of course, Madelyn did a 5.5 hour stretch, but it wasn't at the same time. We have been trying to keep them on the same eating schedule but Macey has been slowly working up to sleeping longer and longer stretches so no way am I going to wake her up to feed her if she'll sleep 6 hours! They are swaddled, in their carseats, in the crib...it's working, and we aren't touching it! Hoping for as much success tonight!

And guess what? Madelyn has thrush now! So all THREE of my little girls are on medication!! Which totally reminds me that I forgot to give Avery her meds before bed. I am really awful about remembering meds. Anyone have any good tips for remembering that??

All's fair in love and....babies?

I haven't blogged in a few days. Mostly that's due to the fact that last evening I was home alone with all 5 kids and M&M screamed and fussed for 3+ solid hours. It was NOT pretty. But let me backtrack a bit so I can remember what I wanted to blog about...

Friday night my mom volunteered to keep the twins overnight. YAHOOOOO!!! So we willingly dropped them off Friday evening and went home to put our older 3 to bed and fall blissfully asleep ourselves. We slept through the night (yay for us!) and the twins did really well, too! My mom swaddled them and put them in their carseats and then went from 10:45-3:15! She then fed them and they made it until 6 again, so they did really well. In the morning I went in to my parents' house and picked them up, then brought them to a family from our church who was willing to keep the twins for the day while I went shopping with my mom. It was such a wonderful break from the ordinary and we found some great deals. James kept the older 3 during this time, and when I got home it was James' turn to go out...

James left at 6:30 to go to the races with some friends from work. I thought it was important that he go and I know he was looking forward to it. The twins started fussing about the time he left and by 7pm they were screaming, sometimes taking turns, other times wailing in unison. I got the older 3 to bed and from 7pm-10pm I basically did nothing except walk babies, pat babies, feed bottles, prop bottles, burp, give gas drops, lay them on their tummies, lay them on their backs. It never ended! I think they both had tummy troubles and they were just miserable. Finally at 10pm I fed the last bottle to each of them, swaddled them tightly and put them in their carseats in the crib...and they made it until 3:15! So just over 5 hours! Oh man, that was awesome. Let's hope it's a continuing trend!

So now I am outside and I have 4 kids with me, the oldest 2 and the youngest 2. Only one is fussy, so I suppose I am doing well! I am letting James nap while Declan naps. I hope they are able to get a few good winks in.

A better night - hallelujah!

So last night we tried a few things. First off, James put in earplugs. Turns out I can sleep through a lot more noise than James can which actually I find ironic because he was always able to sleep through the older 3 crying. Hmmm. Anyway, he put in earplugs and in James fashion was asleep within 2-3 minutes (I do not kid). At 11pm, just 20 minutes or so after we had all laid down, they both started taking turns fussing. After trying the pacifiers multiple times I finally said "screw it" and gave them both 2 oz bottles, burped them, swaddled them up tight and turned out the light.

At around 1:30 Madelyn started fussing. I've been telling James we need to let her fuss a bit or at the very least offer the pacifier so she's not getting so used to the 2.5 hour schedule. I hauled her into our bed (I know) and offered the pacifier several times. It must have worked...the next time I was awoken was 3:15! Which means that little Macey went from the 11:00 bottle until 3:15 swaddled in her crib, yay! So they both ate at 3:15 and then not again until the 6:00 hour. That's great progress.

You probably don't care how often they're getting up or any of that, but I really want to remember this years from now so hopefully blogspot will still be around. :)

Edit: We also had to bring Avery in this morning because we thought she might have a UTI. Turns out she does. Another 10 days of medicine for one of my girls!

Weight checks and thrush - oh my!

Today my sister in law had my older 3 kids - thank you! That was a welcome respite and they had a blast as well. During that time I took the twins to the drs office for weight checks. At our last check (1 week after birth) Macey was 5#6oz and Madelyn was 5#8oz. Today Macey finally gained! She was 5#14oz and Madelyn was 6#1oz. They're doing great at the eating thing!

While there, I noticed Macey's mouth was FULL of white spots so I asked the float nurse doing the weight checks if it looked like thrush to her. Sure did, so she found the PA who came in and verified it was thrush and ordered the Nystatin for us. She's supposed to have it 4 times a day for 10 days. Notice I said "supposed to" - crazy insane medicine schedule!!! But after stopping by my friend Heather's house for a few hours I picked up the prescription and boiled all the bottle nipples and such. I'm trying really hard to be good about it and help her to get over her fussiness and gas with it - poor baby!