Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My appointments today!

Today I started off the morning with my routine every-4-weeks ultrasound. My mom came along with me this morning and it was fun to share that with her! She's never seen an ultrasound happening before so it was a good time. No doubts anymore that I'm fibbing about there being 2 in there - I have a witness. :)

I'm 31 weeks today. The girls measured 3lbs 7oz and 3lbs 8oz (+/-10oz, lol) and they are both in position to try vaginal delivery, woo hoo!!! (Mostly I'm a weiner about a possible c-section.) The perinatologist said it doesn't get much more picture perfect than this. He doesn't want to see me back with him for another 4 weeks for another ultrasound, which would make me 35 weeks, wow!

My reg dr (saw him about an hour after the peri) said that the peri must be feeling REALLY comfortable with how things are going or he would have never allowed me to wait so long between ultrasounds, so this is good! At my reg appt I gained 3 pounds (up 19 pounds total), bp was excellent at 110/54, fetal heart tones were both found easily again. I am going every 2 weeks and have been for quite a few weeks already. Get ready for this - I am measuring 40-41 weeks gestation at 31 weeks. For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, 40 weeks is a full-term single baby. So I am as big as if I had one baby in there and I was ready to deliver. And alas, I have weeks and weeks to go/grow yet! I got into the minivan after camping this weekend and had to move the seat back - so over the course of 3 days I know I grew quite a bit. Of course it had nothing to do with the number of smores I had. Hey, one for each beating heart inside me, yes??

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Declan's 1 year portraits...

taken at 16+ months, today 5/26/09. It's WITHIN the age of 1 year, yes?

Click here to see the pictures

password: declan

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

And Caden knocks my socks off!

Just when God thought I had been wallowing long enough in my pity party, He sent a huge gift via my firstborn.

Tonight James had to leave for church a little early, which left me with all the kids when I already wasn't feeling very well at all. Before James left, Caden had taken his diaper off and was running around stark naked, nothing new there. I happened to be sitting on our bed and Caden came into our bedroom, pointing at his bottom, grimacing and whining. "Caden, do you need to go potty?" "NO!" came the immediate reply, which is his FAVORITE word these days, so joyous. So I change it up a bit. "Caden, do you need a diaper on?" "Yeah!" to which I replied, "No buddy, let's go sit on the potty." He grabbed my hand and I sat him on our toilet in our master bathroom. I showed him how to point it down and he was NOT impressed with mommy bugging him there, so I was pushed aside. I decided to take a step away and not really pay attention, and there is was, the sound of pee hitting the floor. WHO THE GLORY CARES, it's urine, it came from Caden and it was nearly immediate after being placed on the potty!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I started whooping it up and all of that, walking back toward him to get ready to wipe up the pee when HOLY SMACK, poop hit the water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A double whammy of goodness!!! We were all so proud, SO PROUD!!!!

I got him wiped up (I thought) and we headed to start getting ready for bed. He decided to make a detour into Avery's room (still naked) and climb up on her bed. I called for him from his bedroom when it dawned on me - he scoots himself to dismount a bed and I'm not totally sure his bottom is clean....please don't tell Avery anything but we need to do some laundry in the morning.

Monday, May 11, 2009

One of those RTS days, I guess.

And yesterday, RTS stood for "Really Tough Sh!t".

It was Mother's Day. And I am admittedly grouchy and punchy lately. I probably have hurt some feelings and have a few apologies to make but at the moment the best I can do is to admit I am bitchy and move on from there.

The kids actually let me sleep in (James had to be at church early) so that was a VERY nice gift! I got up with them and we got ready for church and Caden was alredy somewhat agitated once we got to church because daddy had to go up front to sing during our service and wasn't sitting with us. He was asking for "daaaaaaaadddddy!!" and whining some, but then it came time for him to leave for Children's Worship and all was well. We made it through and then went to family's house for lunch together which was very nice. I think my neice may have broken her arm but I haven't heard from SIL so I am going to assume that she's ok for now.

After lunch we had decided to take a 1 hour + drive to see a campground that James and I will be camping at (without children!!) in a few weeks. We wanted to see what the campground was like and all of that. That went fine until James decided it was Caden's turn to hold the personal DVD player instead of Avery (who usually holds it in such a way that she and Caden can both see it and does a very nice job of it). Caden doesn't do such a nice job of it. He pushes the button to turn the screen off and on. He turns it away from Avery (which elicits an hugely unnecessary shrieking fit from her) and he just generally does what he can be to a pistol about it. Now, I understand that it might not seem "fair" that Caden never gets to hold it, but honestly, he cannot handle it. And I in turn cannot handle the subsequent hollering from Avery (again, not necessary but she's female and 4, what do you expect?) and general extreme referreeing I have to do. But I must say, with Avery I can reason with her and she understands the concept on consequence - and we made it very clear that if she kept hollering she would not be having any sort of snack or drink. Problem solved, for the next few minutes anyway.

Then we go to Target where I plan to return 3 items and come right back out. James suggests we all go in together. He knows shopping is my favorite gig ever and bumming around Target for clearance is quite high up there on my fun list and it's Mother's Day - a truly sweet suggestion James but I should have known better. We pile them all in the store and within a minute Caden has started his whining, grunting, "I'm irritated" noise - mostly due to the fact that we don't allow the pacifier to accompany him into buildings. And it's loud. And it receives stares (which truly DOES NOT bother me, but I want you be aware of what we're dealing with here). So we're trying to look for things here and there and during this time Caden wanders off twice - instant "into the cart" rule. And he isn't happy, so the whining crescendos. Long story short, we bought C batteries and toilet paper, James grabbed Caden and brought him to the van while I checked out with Avery and Declan (always the super troopers) and we headed home.

The ride home was pretty much silent. Caden fell asleep nearly immediately, Declan had napped a little bit and was content to chatter a bit to himself and Avery was singing, rather quietly which was nice. The silence was finally broken when I said to James, "Does it even feel to you like Caden ruins most of our family outings?" and James concurred. And that, my friends, is Really Tough Sh!t. It's the truth and the truth hurts. While I don't wish (anymore) for Caden not to have RTS (the syndrome), the truth is the wish is very much there for him to be more normal. I can't FATHOM what he would be like without RTS as it's the very essence of who he is, but I suppose I wish I could tailor RTS to suit our family's needs better. And can you even imagine, do you even KNOW how much it breaks a mother's heart to wish that your kid wasn't the way they are? To look at him, my heart adores him, but in the very same heartbeat, I want something different for him, for all of us. I want it to be FUN to go out and do things together as a family. I wish we didn't have to curb the things we do because Caden can't handle it, won't understand it, won't cooperate, doesn't understand consequence so there's no punishment that works...the list goes on.

And these are the moments where you feel very, very alone. James doesn't get it in the same way I do. He doesn't deal with him for as many hours as I do. And he isn't currently pregnant, either, which makes him a LOT more even-tempered, lol. Caden is ageless, in so many ways...I don't even think about what he would be doing as a typical 6.5 year old because I can't even imagine it. I tell people that I have a 6yo, 4yo and 16mon old and they say, "Oh, your 6 and 4yos will be a big help with the twins!" and I think, "No, no, no, he's honestly MORE work than the rest of them combined!!" but yet I just nod - what can you say?

I don't like asking for help with him. I feel like he's "my problem" - one I never asked for but apparently I needed. And he acts so dang good for others! At home it's where we have issues. I suppose that makes sense in terms of how we all behave differently at home and I am glad he's comfortable here obviously. It's just...different.

I'm throwing this all out there for heaven-knows-what reason. Some because I think I inadvertantly portray that everything's a-ok for us when it comes to Caden - and mostly, it is, but there are days, and then those days spiral downward so fast because it's all been building up. Some because these feelings are real and raw, and I think it needs to be ok to share them. And some because I just need a hug.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

A year ago today...

Avery's potty training began. Remember that saga? That was fun to read. She is quite the Avery.

The reason I can even remember those sorts of details? Today is also my parent's wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary mom and dad!! We love you!

Today Caden walked part of the parade route with his Kindergarten class. He was so cute in his Dutch costume. The rain cleared off and the weather turned out to be beautiful this afternoon so Tulip Time started off just fine! We are now done with our Tulip Time committments - time will tell if we go back uptown to do anything else. I know I'd prefer just to stay away from it all, but the food is truly calling me....

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

An overview of our life

My SIL (sister in law, for those of you who aren't internet lingo savvy) started a letter today that got the ball rolling for the rest of us. I thought I would share the portion we wrote to update all the rest of you!! --

Hey, I'll chime in. We're doing our usual - James nearly passed out in front of the tv and me parked at the computer. I really should have my feet up but alas, I do not. So sue me. If someone would buy us a laptop then I could do as I should and have my feet up. But alas, they have not. So sue them.

We found 6 wood ticks either attached to or near our children's heads tonight within the course of 30 minutes. That's disgusting, but it is just about our biggest news. So we do not have new pets, just new ticks.

I think we might go camping this weekend. Caden was supposed to be involved in 3 parades during Tulip Time but we have narrowed it down to only 1 parade on Thursday afternoon that he is involved in. So after that we're happy to be doing not much of anything at all. Time will tell if we go camping or not....we have loaded up the bed of the pickup with TONS of junk from around here so that has to go to the landfill before we can haul a camper to the campground. We joked that it would be funny to pull up in a crowded area of the campground with all that junk in there, spill all the kids out, start waddling around with my hands on my back and start yelling at James and the kids - wouldn't that be funny???? Yeah, only to us I think. But the mental picture is kinda funny.

School is winding down, and that means tons of field trips for Caden. He is going to the zoo with his spec ed class, then to the Youth Special Olympics (his best event is cycling, aren't you proud grandpa??), then to the zoo again with kindergarten...maybe. We'll see how he does with all of it and go from there. His last day will be June 2, barring any unforseen H1N1 battles (I try to be PC at every turn, you know, don't want any swines to be offended). Caden will be repeating Kindergarten next year, but isn't allowed to have the same K teacher (sniffle).

Avery only has 3 more preschool sessions left and then she graduates - back to the same preschool! Only next year she is doing 3 afternoons a week compared to the current 2 mornings a week. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea how it's all going to work out but I know God will make a way. After that the plan is that she will go to Kindergarten (in her words) "at Nathaniel and Emma and Tressa and Jacob's school!!!!!" and she is excited for Kindergarten when that time comes as well, but for now she is very content to go back to the same preschool, the house she knows, the teachers she "loves" (her words again) - and we are excited for her!

Declan. What can I say seriously? He melts you like a stick of butter on high in the microwave. He gets CRAPLOADS of attention when we go places - oh, he's so cute! How old? Oh, he WAVED at me!!! He is like a mini-celebrity and it's hilarious to me, not so fun to Avery but we are trying HARD to make sure she doesn't get lost in the shuffle of special needs older brother and super cuddle younger brother...and then indentical twin girls to follow up. He is a crawler now (FINALLY!) at 15 months and he goes places! Lately he's been sick with some crud and is back on breathing treatments but we hope he's turning the corner.

I'm feeling good! 28 weeks tomorrow and going strong, although I must admit that having a kitchen with concrete floor is MURDER on my back, legs and ankles by the end of the day. I am just nesting away, both inside and out and it's fun to see the progress, though at times the babes destroy it faster than I can clean it. Our pastor's wife gifted me with a certificate she won for 3 hours of cleaning service but I have no idea how to use it. Probably showers I guess, unless she's willing to change a diaper or two. That's truly dirty.