Potty training? Or Mommy Training?

I have a new mission - to keep this blog going until Avery is at least married with one child who is of potty training age. We've been trying off and on with Avery to potty train for a while, but recently we gave up because we were getting NOWHERE and she was sooooooo upset by the whole process and I was getting soooooooo upset by the whole process and it was becoming ridiculous. So we quit. And I was good with that.

Lately, we've been talking about it again. Talking about getting a brand new (pink) Dora backpack so she can attend preschool, being potty trained so we can go swimming and take swimming lessons (in her brand new pink and white Gymboree swimsuit with a hot pink heart on it, woo hoo!), all those fun things that people get to do when they're potty trained. So yesterday (Tues) she was really talking a lot about it, so I decided to ask her if she would be ready to start the next day (Wed, today). She said yes. After picking myself up off the proverbial floor we agreed - no more diapers unless it's bedtime. And no, no naps in this house save for the tiniest one. Sucks, but it's what it is.

This morning rolls around and I get up to get Caden ready for school. Strangely, Avery is not awake yet. She doesn't wake until nearly 9am, and I assumed it was to avoid any talk of panties. But it seems it's because she has a snotty nose and major goopy eyes - ahhhh allergies. Anyway, I take her temperature to ensure that she is indeed feeling ok and at 98.0 I decide we're going for it. Tears from her. I think she was hoping for 102.4. I calmly explain again all the fun things we can do once she goes on the potty and she's ok with it. On go the Hello Kitty panties with bubble gum. Classic.

Fast forward to 3pm. Yes, 3pm and she still hasn't gone potty on the potty and has had no accidents. Bladder of steel much? She is now asking for a diaper. I tell her this means it's time to go on the potty and we have tears again (about 1 hour prior she'd asked for a diaper, I had said no, and she was fine at that time). And she becomes hysterical. Hello to the Avery we all know and love from previous potty training sessions. So after 20 minutes, I cave - sorta. I tell her she can have a diaper IF she sits on the potty with the diaper on to go pee. She sorta agrees, and I sorta change the rules up - I cut a HAUGE hole in the diaper (no easy task, hello absorbancy) before I bring it back upstairs to put it on her. She is still screaming this entire time, holding herself, the works. I put the diaper on her and force the sitting on the potty issue, and about 20 seconds later she has gone. However, she still doesn't realize that I've messed the diaper up. I have her stand up and she sees the pee in the potty and let me tell YOU, that does not please her. You'd think she'd be proud that there is actually pee in the potty and she didn't have to try, but nope, someone has double crossed her and you are now on her "naughty list." So, that didn't work out so well and the screaming crescendos. So I calmly and matter of factly tell her that we will NOT be getting any more diapers AT ALL and that diapers ARE for bedtime only.

I decide to calm her down by going outside to swing. Always a winner. We're good until about 5:30pm.....someone has to pee again and she's holding herself and starting to cry. Long story (about 15-20 minutes) made short - I physically held her on the potty in a sitting position until she stopped fighting me. Yes, 15-20 minutes worth AT LEAST or that and screaming - she was the only one screaming.......

You know what's so great about God? You ask, He delivers. I prayed for that entire time for patience, not to hit her, not to pinch her, to remember that she is just a child, not to not to not to not to.....and I didn't. I remained calm and matter of fact the entire time (no small task for me when it comes to Little Miss Strong-Willed and her daughter Avery, lol) and she finally just sat there. And a few dribbles of pee came out. And they were bloody and she said "OWIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE" amidst her screaming and I started thinking, "What have I done??? I have fully sent her to the ER over going pee on the potty!" She insisted that was all she had to do so I allowed her to get up, but since she DID pee some she got a sticker and she was proud. Not 2 minutes later she's finally sitting at the table to eat and she's sobbing for a diaper. I go to pick her up and she's screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" but I take her right back to the potty and sit her down. She doesn't fight me this time. Smart cookie. I sit right down with her and, even though she's crying, she does pee on the potty a decent amount. I can tell that's not all she has, but it's a good amount and again she says she's done so she gets another sticker! YAY chicka!!!

And then she goes outside with James not 10 minutes later and pees all over the seats in his pickup. Praise God for a 1988 falling apart rattletrap with a daddy who's always cool as a cucumber. We talk about how accidents are TOTALLY ok and I ask if she's ready to get into pajamas. Her response - "Do I get a diaper on???" How much you wanna bet she's poopy right now? Who'll give me $10?