Do you have a good internal clock?

I felt like the mother of the year this morning. Caden's bus comes at 7:30. I awoke from a dead sleep to hear a horn honking in my driveway. Looked at the clock and it was 7:33. CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one was out of bed yet. I called the bus barn and told them to radio the driver and tell her to move on.

Worst part? This is not the first time this has happened. At. All.

Caden loves buttons and dials and the like. So he turned down my radio all the way. Oh the alarm was still set, but when it "went off" the radio turned on which was turned...all the way down. You'd think by now I would know to check that before bed. I checked to make sure the alarm was on, and that was all. (I know you're going to suggest turning the beeper on the alarm, but I cannot wake up to that. I will crap the bed. Serious.)

My DH James and BFF Heather can't believe that I don't wake up earlier without the help of an alarm. They use alarms, but only as panics if they don't get up with their internal clocks. I don't seem to have an internal clock. I have a hard time falling asleep, but once I do it takes darn-near an act of God to wake me in the mornings. Or a radio. But still, I have to have an external force to rouse me!

What about you?

First day of school 2010 - 1st grade (Caden) and K (Avery)

Here's a few pictures I snapped the morning of the first day of school. I have one from last year of all the kids sitting on the front porch and it would be fun to see the changes this year, but it's on the upstairs computer (we have GOT to figure out how to link the 2 computers):

My big kids!!! I should've put the twins there but in usual Tena-fashion I was running late because it was morning.

If I'm being honest I struggle with this picture because I see that Caden looks different. But you know, it is what it is - I think this is an absolutely PRECIOUS one!!!!

Caden is signing "bus" here - he was SO ready to see Diana!

She's here!!! Look at that adorable admiration!! I love this picture!!!


Strapped in and ready to GO!

First one off bus #6 at




Some of her older cousin Tressa's 5th grade friends walk with Avery to her classroom since they ride the same bus.

Welcome to Miss Amber's Kindergarten classroom!

Miss Amber helped Avery get her name tag on.



And then she had to color a picture to look just like her!

I was so proud of both of my kids - this day and always! So hard to believe they're growing up. They have done very well this week and we can't wait for more!

We survived!

The first day of school, that is. Caden did wonderfully. He has the same bus driver again this year and we.love.Diana. He spent a lot of time with his special ed class as the first few days are always so hectic and they didn't want to overwhelm him. He got to make mac n cheese at kitchen time and had to clean up afterwards. He told me it was fun and when grandma called to talk to him he told her LOADS of stories about it as well. I guess we had first grade success!

Avery did beautifully. I put her on the bus and then drove into town to meet her at school off the bus. She found her classroom and did the work she was supposed to do - coloring a picture of a little girl to look just like her. I got a few pictures and then headed back home. She only had a half day so was home around 12:45 or so. Some good news is that the bus is going to pull all the way up our driveway now and turn around close to the house, which means we don't have to run down the driveway to meet up with the bus down at the road. Bonus!

Pictures to follow. Anyone care to guess how long that actually takes me??

A first - with a 2nd

Think it doesn't make sense? I'd have to agree with you. I'm struggling with something...I'm struggling with sending my 2nd-born to Kindergarten. It's sort of like she's my first to go. I'm having a very hard time letting her go.

I remember it was difficult to send Caden, but Caden had been attending some sort of schooling since he was 2. I knew school would be good for Caden. I knew he would make great strides there and learn things that I didn't have the skills (or the patience, if I'm being perfectly honest) to teach him. I was ok with sending him off....yes, even though he wasn't speaking and couldn't come home and tell me all about his day, I felt confident that he was "ready". As ready as he could be at his developmental level. (And today we met his 1st grade *sniffle* teacher - she is fabulous and he is going to have a great year!!)

And then there's Avery. Maybe it's the girl thing. Maybe it's the fact that she's my little mini-me. She's my sidekick, my big helper, my incessant chatterbox. Avery is so excited about Kindergarten. She got the teacher she wanted (and she'll tell you this). We went tonight and had a whole scavenger hunt to find the different things in her classroom, to meet her teacher and to bring her classroom supplies. She LOVED it. (I was even a suck-up and had her bring a decorated apple cookie for her teacher. I know, throw rotten tomatoes.) But the whole time I could not be excited for her. I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea that she is going to be gone from home 3 days a week, moving to 5 full days a week by the end of the school year. I could cry about it so easily and if you know me you know I am NOT a cry-er. Avery is going to ride the big yellow bus to and from school. I have set up a set of identical twin 5th graders on her bus route to help her get to class, so she's covered there. I just can't help it - I feel like she is not ready and won't be able to handle it and cannot possibly be apart from her momma.

Perhaps this is one of the greatest downfalls of being a stay at home mom. Perhaps it's just me. Either way, I think Monday is going to be harder on Tena than on Avery. Yes, I am looking forward to having "just" 3 kids here at home during the day, but no one can talk to me or argue with me (efficiently, that is - Declan sure tries but his vocabulary consists of "noo!" "mine!") or otherwise bug the tar out of me at every turn. Honestly, I don't even know what to say. I'm positive it's going to be ok but my heart feels heavy at the same time. I'll miss her! She's growing up...right before my very eyes and quite literally without my permission. Bittersweet.

I have nothing interesting to say...

but one of my goals in life is to become a famous blogger, and I'm not going to do that by not posting anything for weeks on end, right? Thought so.

Right now it's thundering outside and we're preparing for about the millionth inch of rain this summer. We have been so blessed with no water in our basement, but many of our family and friends haven't been that lucky. It's really a mess for some people and it's so frustrating! I'm ready for next week - they're calling for temps in the low 80s with low humidity and no rain almost all week! Which is really great news considering it's been in the upper 90s with mega humidity. It's also great because...

Next week we are going camping all week! It's our little staycation. We're camping locally as James has to work at The Scooter Store in Des Moines on Monday and Tuesday, but then he has work off until Saturday, so that will be a fun family time after that. The first night camping is always hellish, but then the kids get used to sleeping somewhere else and bedtimes go much better. They don't sleep in at all, but we can handle that. After that week is done...

School starts!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't wait, I really can't. Caden and Avery are driving each other nuts. Caden needs the structure of school in a bad way. The only hard part is that Caden's 1:1 associate took a different job for next year and won't be with us again. I cried buckets over that one, but I know Caden will be just fine and God is working out the details so that we'll have someone else special to work with our little man. He's going into 1st grade and he has an awesome teacher (we've heard) so we're happy. Avery will be starting Kindergarten, but she is going to the Christian school instead of the public school where Caden attends. Avery could not possibly be more excited! She gets to ride the big yellow bus and she got the teacher she wanted (this teacher student taught when Avery was in preschool and now is starting her teaching career in K!). She is absolutely certain that she is ready, but I have a feeling that she is going to be more homesick than she realizes. She will be going full days, 3 days a week - MWF. The worst part is that Avery's personalized backpack hasn't arrived yet, and it says it won't arrive until Sept 4. I'm praying it'll be early, but hope is waning with each day. We'll see!

Ready for some cuteness overload?

A sweet gal from our church offered to take some pictures of Macey and Madelyn as a "survival gift" - we all made it through the first year! Here are the pictures she took. Megan did an AMAZING job and I just can't believe how adorable my girls are!!! I know, that sounds totally braggy but I really don't care - they ARE adorable!!

http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/store.aspx?p=235481

password: twins

Madelyn is scooting forward!

It's exciting stuff people. Madelyn can get on her tummy and then pull herself slightly forward! She uses her arms but some her legs, too. It's not full out army crawl and it's certainly not hands and knees crawling, but I'll take it! Macey is still content to roll where she needs to go. Madelyn also now has all 4 top teeth which is quite cute to see. Macey has 3 of 4 - she's missing her right, true front tooth.

We were gone this weekend to Cincinnati for the RTS Family Conference. It was an amazing time of meeting people we'd only ever emailed with for years and hearing experts talk about RTS and other things related to RTS to help us out. We brought Caden and Avery, leaving Declan, Macey and Madelyn back home with my parents. We truly did have a great time! Avery got very confident in the pool - she was jumping in and swimming halfway across (under water) to me! We spent as much time as possible in the pool. On Saturday and on Sunday morning the kids went into childcare and James and I attended speakers and seminars about RTS. We got some great information from those and were able to have breakfast and lunch in a revolving restaurant - one of only 32 such restaurants in the world I think! The trip there didn't go so well...it took us 10.5 hours to get there. On the way home, though, we stopped less often and made it in 8.5 which felt much more tolerable. It was so fun to see other RTSweeties and meet their families!!

An amazing encounter!

I had an amazing encounter this weekend. James and I were camping with our little tribe. We nearly backed out about 10 times because it was so blasted hot and it was supposed to be just miserable, but we decided to go anyway because we had reservations. After setting up camp I took a walk with the twins in the stroller, Avery on her bike and Caden on his special bike that school made for him. Just 3 campsites away from us a mom smiled and commented on Caden's neat bike, and then signed "baby" to her daughter and asked if she could see the babies. I glanced over at her daughter and my heart literally stopped for a second - I knew in an instant she had RTS. It's so hard to know how to approach something like that, y'know? Some moms are ok with lots of questions about their child with special needs and some really don't wish to have it pointed out that it's "obvious". So I eggshelled a bit - I told her my son had special needs, which led to her stating that her daughter did. I asked then if her daughter had a diagnosis. She said yes, and then said, "She actually has Rubinstein Taybi Syndrome" in a way that I've said it many times - the tone said "You've never heard of it and have no idea what it is." I simply said, "Shut up! Caden has RTS too!!!" She teared up and neither one of us could believe it. A small campground in Iowa, the same weekend, just 3 sites away. What are the chances honestly???? Interestingly enough, they had their 6 year old daughter pull some states out of a hat, then they prayed about it and then decided where in that state they would camp, and apparently Pella, Iowa is the place to be (I mean, we already knew that but still),

So we spent a lot of time chatting over the course of the weekend. The similarities are astounding, both socially and medically. Caden and her daughter hugged each other several times, which is something I have NEVER seen Caden just offer to someone else - they both knew they were something special! This family is from Iowa as well. It was just so exciting!!!

Added a cute lil picture...

of Macey (left) and Madelyn on their birthday up top there! Enjoy!!

James is loving work!

This is refreshing. It is just amazing to see him smile so much, to see him get out of bed early because he can't wait to get to work, to see him smile - have I mentioned that?? I am happy, he is happy, life is good. I will admit that having him get home really late on the days he works in Des Moines is sort of hard, but that's a fair trade off....so far. In a few weeks when he's on his own he will be working weekends which means Fridays and Saturdays. We'll see how that pans out, but I think we can handle it. Thank you God!!

Happy 1st Birthday Macey Johanna and Madelyn Corinne!!!!

Words can't express how much these two girls have changed our lives. They are precious baby girls who light up our lives so very much! I am so proud to call them my babies.

About to lose my cool...

I just posted this on a message board I frequent. Enjoy the peek into my life...

I feel like a pretty even-keel person, but with James' new job it's later hours in coming home. It's 7pm and he is not even home yet. I am about to blow a gasket at my kids I swear it. My 7yo is special needs so developmentally he is about 2-3 years ago. He and my 2yo fight like you WOULD NOT believe. The "mine!" "no, MINE!" is enough to drive me to drink. My 7yo doesn't have many words but of course MINE happens to be one of them. Right now my 2yo is SCREAMING outside their bedroom door because my oldest is supposed to be in bed (I sent him there before I NEARLY popped him one) and he is not in bed. I am on here just typing because if I don't I will say or do something I will later regret. Add to the mix my 5yo DD who is hollering "mommmmmmmmmmmmy, the boys are hurting my ears!" at the top of her ever-loving lungs. She should know better but I expect too much of her sometimes. And all of this is happening within feet of the twins' bedroom door - they are having their bottles in bed and trying to go ni-night.

This all started over a stupid Clifford book that no one could share.

Sometimes I get SOOOOOOOOOOO frustrated at my 7yo and his lack of understanding. He pesters just to pester at times (typical boy, I know) and it just drives me up the proverbial wall. With school being out I feel like I am FOREVER telling him no to something or telling him to stop pinching, stop hitting, keep your hands to yourself. It's SO hard to have a meaningful, fun experience with him and I'm sad.

Ok. In the time it took me to type that all is quiet. I needed the breather. Thank you for letting me vent. Off to start tackling bedtime in a bit. (And no, I am not mad at James for working longer, but this time of day is just HARD. The kids haven't even seen him yet today. But the poor guy got out to his car after work and the battery was dead! He's had "one of those days" as well I guess.)

Happy 4th - er, I mean 5th.

Honestly, what a boring weekend. I am not complaining really, but we didn't do anything 4th of Julyish. My parents kept Declan and the twins on Saturday and we went to Pella's outdoor pool/aquatic center for 3.5 hours which was really fun. Caden is a whole lot braver than I thought he would be! I think it's time for swimming lessons for him, but I'm not really sure where to begin. I think private lessons would be necessary for him. He just basically had no fear, which was good and bad. He also doesn't always listen really well so it's a mixed bag of fun, LOL!

The actual day of the 4th we majorly lazed around. We didn't even make it to church because we slept in so late - now THAT was nice! Today we went and took a bike ride down where we usually camp. The campgrounds are closed due to flooding, so we decided to walk in the campground loops instead of on the walking trails. We thought this would be good because there's no traffic in there right now. It WAS pretty good...except for the mosquitos. Holy CRAP! Awful, I've never seen them so bad. They SAY that mosquitos are so big in Minnesota that they are the state bird. I could almost believe there were so MANY on our kids today that it could be considered the plague!! Interesting too - I bet there were 10 of them on Macey for every 1 on Madelyn! I'm just like little Macey...mosquitos love me, too. Not fair!

The twins are going to be ONE on Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just can't be so!!!

So this is how it's going to be?

As you know, today was James' first day. And the bad part about that 1 hour drive (each way) is that it happened on a Wednesday and James has to be at church by 7pm which means we haven't talked hardly AT ALL about how things went. All I do know is that James wore the WRONG shoes and I guess his fashion coordinator (me) is going to have to let him know that you don't wear work boots with nice jeans and a collared polo. I mean seriously, is that so difficult to understand? Sorry, I'm punchy today.

In fabulous news, our Cabela's lounge chairs arrived today! Love them. We got the black ones because they were on sale, AND I had mega Cabelas.com gift cards from our Discover cash-back accounts, yippee!!


Macey and Madelyn had their follow ups after being discharged from the hospital. They are 100% healthy! Glad to hear it.

I'm super struggling with wanting FOOD lately. And I think a large part of that is that my bestie is going to be gone until late Monday so I feel like I have to "make up" for her not being around....replacing one comfort with another. So I'm trying hard to remember that I can't feed my emotions, that I have to feel them and deal with them and be strong in spite of them. But I really want chocolate cake right now (I made some awesome cake to celebrate James' "last day" yesterday). I'm off to crack open a Diet Mt Dew caffeine free instead.

Tomorrow marks a new beginning for our family.

I have been hesitant to say anything here about James job and how unhappy he's been. I know there are people who read this who also work where he does and are family members of people who work there. I have nothing but good things to say about the PEOPLE that James has worked for and with for the past 12 years and 4 months. They are truly God-fearing, wonderful people.

The problem has been that James has been unhappy at his job. And he's been unhappy for years. Way too long, but it seems we kept getting pregnant or had a big ol house addition going on and the timing just wasn't quite right. We got to a point though, where the toll it was taking on James (depression, and I swear his illness earlier this year was in part due to his being so down) and ultimately on our entire family just wasn't worth it. So James has been applying. And the economy isn't great. But last week he got HIRED! And tomorrow he starts his new job!

James will be working (part-time at 29hrs/wk) at The Scooter Store. He will be the guy who brings the motorized chairs to people with limited mobility (do you like how I'm using all the appropriate buzz words already??) in their homes, teaches them how to use them and also fixes/troubleshoots issues. After having been working in a troubleshooting type job for so long, plus being a service technician in people's homes, this feels very natural to James. He is excited. He is becoming the James I used to know - fun-loving, animated, full of life and not so exhausted and weary. Hopefully this is just the beginning of better things to come!

So yeah, it's only part time, and his current employer has been kind enough to let him stay on in part time capacity there as well (until he finds something else or they find a full-time replacement for him). And there are other downsides...we will be leaving AHHHHHHHHHHHmazing medical benefits (100% coverage, I kid you not) and going to COBRA type coverage. We're not used to paying for our coverage but I guess we've been spoiled long enough. There's also a 1+hour commute for James to get to work, and he has to be there by 7am. Right now, he has a company vehicle that he drives and it's a 4 minute commute. We went in with eyes wide open, and we believe that God will make a way. It's imperative that James find his happiness again, and we're praying this is one (huge) step in the right direction!

Pushing back that bedtime.

Trying to put hyper kids down at 7pm during the summer when it's fully light outside and the fun has only just begun (in their minds) is just not a fun task. Add to that the fact that they horse around for a full hour after they are put to bed and you have some cranky parents. Tonight we went for a drive to go see the flooding and to get some ice cream. We told them that bedtime was going to be later. This means nothing to them as they cannot tell time - which I am NOT complaining about!! Declan actually complained when we said "bedtime is going to be later"...all he heard was that bedtime word. Mmmm hmmm.

So we did bedtime for Macey and Madelyn at 7:30 or so (our drive had us out later than usual) and then tackled the big kids. It was good. We had absolutely no horsing around in beds and cribs after they were put into bed! This is a first. Usually to get that result we have to force them to run 200000 laps around the house before bed. Going to bed just one hour later sure is easier!

Now. We'll see how morning goes. Our kids tend to be the kinds of kids who wake up by 7:30 no matter WHEN they fell asleep. I'm hoping that the 8pm bedtime will sort of diminish that. Hoping.

And we're home!

That is all. Hallelujah!

Guess what???

Macey is now in the hospital as well. They get to share a room, how sweet! (There is sarcasm dripping off my voice.) We are PRAYING they both get to come home tomorrow. Madelyn is doing tons better and Macey wasn't quite as sick to begin with.

A baby with pneumonia

Yes, one of ours. All 5 of our kids have had coughs and colds for a week or more, some worse than others. Madelyn just kept getting progressively worse and this morning I finally took her in to the ER. She has pneumonia, poor baby! She's doing pretty good, but needs an IV for her ear infection and to cover all bases on the pneumonia. She also needs oxygen so she's got that going on as well. I really thought we were done with the sickness - good grief, we're just a few days shy of summer! Keep her in your thoughts and prayers!

Soooooooo, weight loss.

Yep, I started chattering about it in January. On the 4th of Jan I joined weight watchers with my BFF Heather. It was slow going, too slow for me....aaaaaaaaaaaaand, I wasn't that serious about it if I'm being perfectly honest. I mean I TRIED, but my give-a-dam was busted. I lost maybe 14 pounds from Jan-May, to which you may be saying, "That's GREAT!" but the truth is when you have over 100 pounds to lose (as I do, to even get into my healthy weight range for my shortness) you should be losing a bit faster than that. Jillian Michaels would agree.

In May I decided it was ridiculous to spend money to not care. Interestingly enough, that is when I began to care. And I want to lose weight now, I really do. I am tired of hating on myself when I see a picture of me...and yes, I know that goes beyond the outward appearance but I just look freakin' fat. People say to me, "But you've had 5 babies!" and this is true, but I don't want to be fat anymore. There's no reason I have to be. *I* am the one keeping myself here. Me and my big old fear of failure. I've told myself for YEARS that I can't be "small", I can't get there, that's for the "pretty girls". Ridiculous! I am a pretty girl! Fat doesn't change that, it just hides it. So I'm ready to let the hiding game end. I'm ready to see what I'd look like at 225 pounds, at 200 pounds, then at 175, then at 150, then ....

For today, a couple of successes. First, I walked up and down our driveway 12 times (10 times = 1 mile), running up(hill) the last time! (I also did up and down 16 times yesterday, running up the last time, but the twins weren't having it today.) If you think you can't exercise, get creative. I don't want to exercise after James gets home because I want to veg and be with him, but I also don't want to do it during my "free time" (naptime), so I do lunch, get everyone outside in strollers, on bikes, etc. and start huffing it! Yes, I am red-faced and nearly dying at the end, but then I can put the 3 little ones down for nap, take my shower and I can relax for the rest of the day. (I know a lot of you would suggest getting up 20-30 minutes early and doing this before everyone's out of bed, but then you would not really know me that well.) I also hit a low weight for me, a number I haven't seen for at least 9 months when I dropped down "low" after the twins were born - I was at 243.6 today! I'm happy with that! I started out my pregnancy with the twins at over 250 so this is excellent.

(Yes, I am that transparent about the numbers. Who honestly cares what the number on the scale says, right? It's not like you can't see that I'm heavy. This just takes the guesswork out of it for you - I know as well as you do that we're all dying to ask people just how much they weigh, LOL!)

I feel great. I feel like I am finally taking care of myself and the other things in life are falling into place. I have supper in the crockpot for tonight already. I made a great meal last night and we enjoyed it as a family. This is a big success for me - meal planning and execution is just about my greatest domestic weakness, so it feels great to be on top of it!

I look forward to sharing this journey with you. This is hard work, but I am so worth it!!