As the days passed, there was one blue, speckled egg inside the nest. The next day, two eggs. The third, three. I thought there would be no more, but on the 5th day, there was the 4th (and final egg). And finally, I saw mama bird with the nest. I did a bit of research and discovered that she was a chipping sparrow. Pretty little thing with distinct markings.
As the days passed, the eggs hatched. I loved to sit out on the porch and watch the mama bring back food to her babies. At first they couldn't even see, could barely move. But within just a few days they would respond to my finger gently bumping the nest by opening wide for their next meal (thinking mama bird had just landed). I did notice one of the little ones seemed to be struggling...and it was only a matter of time before I only saw 3 little mouths poking up for food. Survival of the fittest, I guess. Soon after that, the three were wide-eyed and watching me every time I walked past. I saw both mama and daddy bird feeding them - sometimes both at once. It was incredible.
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It all seemed to move very fast, but suddenly, almost as soon as the nest itself appeared, we were empty nesters. The babies had flown away. I was shocked. It didn't seem like enough time. Could they really be strong enough and ready enough to be out on their own? I had never even seen them attempt to fly. But indeed, the nest was messier (can kids EVER leave something neat and tidy??) and completely empty. They had launched.
I was sad that I had missed the launch, but I was happy that I had provided a place for them to raise their family. That same night, an Iowa thunderstorm blew through. It was nasty out - driving rains, wind, thunder, lightning, all of it. Out of curiosity, I stepped out onto this covered porch during the storm. I naturally assumed the little family would be back at the nest, hunkered down to wait out the storm. I was wrong. They were not there. And they never came back. It confused me - on the very first night out of their "old home", faced with brutal elements, wouldn't they want to return to what they knew? Wouldn't they want that safety and security? WOULDN'T YOU? I know I would.
It made me think about how much we overthink things, and how very little we trust. God had provided a new home for these sparrows. They trusted. They left the old behind, and went to live their new life boldly. It didn't matter that on the very first night they were faced with difficult trials. They trusted that God would provide for them, and they stayed secure in the shelter I am sure He did provide. So often in my life I want to go back to what's familiar. I don't want to branch out (pun intended) and try new things. It's scary. But not so with these little birds. Once they learned the necessary skills, they went for their new life 100%. No looking back. I want to live like that. I want to know, DEEP INSIDE OF ME, what God desires for me to do and just do it. I don't want to live in fear of the next trial/thunderstorm. I want to go boldly where He desires me to go. God has placed some incredible trials in my life. There are burdens I am carrying and life situations and grief that I never imagined I would encounter in my life. And a LOT of the time, if I am being honest, I do not trust Him with it. I think He has messed up and that He has DEFINITELY chosen the wrong girl for these things. I feel like I am broken...a lot. But I do believe he sent this little mama bird and her brood to my porch to remind me His eye is on them, and even more so on me. I am trying to cling to that, despite the thunderstorms in my life.
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