Avery's preschool picture

came back today. I'm pleased as punch. I wasn't going to order, but then I thought "she will probably do ok, better than Caden anyway" and I grabbed an order form and payed the morning of pictures. I'm so glad I did! Plus she has on brand new Gymboree and I couldn't have that go to waste. ;) Enjoy!! She's just 4 years old here, taken early October 2008.

The purpose of "goodness" is to point others toward God.

How true. Have you ever thought about the fruit of the Spirit of GOODNESS? Think about it for a minute. What does it mean to be "good"? How is that different from being "kind"?

When you consider it, you might find that being kind is "other-directed"...your focus is not on yourself, but on others. What a wonderful quality to have! The focus of "goodness" however, is more self-centered, but in a good way. Our focus is on striving to be good in the face of all kinds of circumstances.

A recent example of this for me has come online. I have a friend who others are questioning, even going as far as to email her with hateful messages about what a liar she must be, etc. I can understand questioning someone, especially someone online who you don't "know" fully, but I cannot understand being hateful toward them or wasting so much time and energy on trying to prove that she is lying. What is the point?

God spoke to me very clearly through this morning's Bible study on GOODNESS. Being good has to do with a conviction of your heart. It has to do with believing that God will one day make everything right. It is trusting God and allowing yourself to stand up in the face of accusations and hate and say what's RIGHT, even what it's not popular. It's allowing yourself to be misunderstood, to have your motives questioned....because you know that one day, God will make it all right. In doing so, you point others toward God so that He can be worshipped for the true goodness that He is!

God is refining this in me. I have made mistakes along the way, but my ultimate motivation is to be good...not for myself, but because I know that's what God wants from me. I tend to stick up for the underdog, sometimes to my own detriment (or so it seems), but in doing so I am learning about the goodness of Christ. He doesn't care what's popular, He cares what's good and what's right. Ultimately, no matter what kind of flack we might have to endure on earth, our prize remains sure in Heaven!

Happy Birthday Dear Caden!

Today at 4:01am you turned 6 years old. I can't believe it's been that long ago...and in other ways it seems like just yesterday. You amaze me every day. You are doing things right now that didn't seem possible at first. Maybe I didn't believe in you. Maybe I didn't believe in myself. Whatever the case, you are a special little boy in so many ways.

This morning, you woke up in a great mood, as usual. Mommy is not a morning person, but walking into your room and seeing you standing up in your crib with a bright "HI!" definitely starts my day off well. You love your routine, and me adding the interior lining to your usual coat sent you off on the bus in tears. I'm sorry that kind of stuff bugs you sweetheart, but it's cold outside and recess will be ever-so-much more fun if you're snug and warm. We even had to send hat and mittens yesterday! I'm not ready for this weather already, but here it is. It was cool like this when you were born, too. But no one could have anticipated the sunshine you would bring into our lives!

When you were little and when I was expecting you, I had all kinds of hopes and dreams for you. I still do, but they have changed and that's not all bad! Plus, mommy has grown up a lot since then, too, so now perhaps my hopes and dreams are more "realistic". :) My biggest hope for you, Caden, is that you will know that you are loved - both by your family and by God. And in your eyes, I can tell that this hope is being realized. When you come to me for a snuggle, because only mommy can get it just right, I know you feel loved. When you smile and play contentedly, without worry of judgement, I know you feel loved. You aren't able yet to say, "I love you" with words, but your actions tell me you do. I love you so much Cay!!!

Tonight all your grandmas and grandpas and most of your aunts and uncles are coming over for a birthday pizza party. I know you're going to have a great time. I've already snagged a couple of balloons from a local store which you'll be over the moon about. I set up your birthday gift this morning when you left for school, complete with trip to Wal-Mart for batteries! However, I need your daddy to take a look at it - it won't work! (It's a remote controlled Elmo train, bought at a garage sale, and I so wish it would work - I want to see your eyes light up when you come in off the bus!)

Daddy's coming home in a bit to watch your brother and sister so I can come and bring cupcakes to you at school. We're going to share with your special ed class and also your Kindergarten class - it's your snack day today! I can't wait to see you at school and share in your excitement.

I could go on forever about you, my sweetie. My prayer for your 6th birthday is that you develop more words and foster those relationships you are building in your community. You are far more popular than anyone I know, and you are SO kind and deserving. Everyone's a friend to you and you treat everyone with the same, unabashed excitement. I appreciate you, and I am thankful to be learning from you. Thank you God, for the gift of Caden. Happy Birthday Caden James!

See my pretty-boy?

Thanks to my friend Tammy for brightening up his picture so he looks all the more sparkling! He really is a sweetheart. Just makes me smile every time I get to pick him up...which is a lot as he barely sits by himself yet. Makes him VERY easy to care for! Though earlier today I had an "oops" moment - I sat him down next to me on the floor while I was at the computer (shocked, aren't you?) and he fell over and hit his head on the bottom of the computer chair. Ouchers baby, I am sorry!!

James is home. That's why I haven't been blogging, there's a lot of kissy face to do! I really did miss him. It made me think though about how dependent you should be on someone. I mean, would I be ok if, God-forbid, something happened to James? I mean, I'd like to think with God's help I would make it but man, how I missed him!!! He really is my best friend. But he's hilarious, I have to tell on him with something...

Every time he goes away I like to nag him about how much time he spent thinking about us, etc. Usually, in typical guy fashion he screws up and says he didn't think about me a lot, that kinda stuff. Well, I told him this time that he needed to buy us stuff because usually I get nothing. The kids get nothing. Again, he's a guy, he gets somewhat of a pass, but I was pushier this time apparently. I sent him with $200 cash. His parents spoiled his tush and paid for most everything while he was gone (thank you, but you should have been watching him closer in the gift shops, people!!!) so the only think he really spent on was gifts for us and a shirt for himself. He had $60 when he returned. Holy smack. He did VERY well for me - I got a precious Willow Tree figurine and a beautiful Faith, Hope, Love religious silver bracelet. But here's where it gets dicey. He bought each of the kids tee shirts, Declan a onesie. Want to know the price of the onesie? Sit down. It was $20. FOR A ONESIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Never, ever, EVER again will I hear flack about how much Gymboree costs.

All this, from the man who didn't even remember a card for our 10th wedding anniversary in June. *smack*

God love you James, you rock my world.

Ahhhh bedtime.

It's 7:51 here and I have all the kids to bed. Avery and Declan are asleep (Ave seems to be under the weather today, running a temp and everything), Caden is "reading books" in his crib. I can just picture him, holding them up to show you the pictures the way his teachers do and emphatically sounding all kinds of tough sounds out. It's beyond cute. Not only are the kids in bed, I've just had a shower and am now consuming extraordinary amounts of calories while blogging. And that, my friends, is the hilarious part. No, not the calories, the showering. Would you like to know why? Perhaps this will be funny only to James...

I showered this morning, too!!!!!!!!! Now most of you are thinking, "good for you Tena, you're cleanly today!" but seriously. I never shower twice in one day. NEVER. I used to when I was going to the gym regularly (don't tell the elipticals there what I am consuming at the computer) but not now. So why did I? Because I am so stinking messed up without James here and any sense of time that I had no recollection of doing it this morning! Here's where you can laugh your donkey off at me. It was only when my hair was soaked that I remembered doing it this morning. Good glory, it's been one of those days.

Actually, it's been pretty good. Started off with a LOVELY neighbor-man skidloading in the field next to us starting about 6:30. Not such a big deal, except that the skidloader has the REVERSE BEEPING NOISE enabled. Who gives me a $20 to send him a smack via USPS? Of course the kids were up, so we soon headed in to town to grab mommy an iced vanilla coffee from McDonalds. I was going to look up the calorie count in one of those bad boys but I truly do not want to know. Then we went to my parents, where they watched the kids so I could go sell $65 worth of Avery's Gymboree clothing to a gal I met via Craigslist. Score! After that I headed home with Avery and Declan (so he could nap) and we left Caden at my parents but traded them for my neice N. She helped watch Avery so I could vacuum up the never-ending swarm of flies in the bonus room above the garage. We're going to have to go to one of those industrial fly catcher things they make for barns and such. Because otherwise, it would look like the freakin' 4th of July with 10000000 yellow fly strips hanging patriotically from the rafters. It's BAD in there folks, take my word for it. After that I hit up my parents for free food again and then we came back home for bedtime and shower time for Miss Can't Remember and now I'm here!!!

I know, that was boring for me too, but thanks for making it this far. After typing all of that, Caden is now quiet as well so I think I am 3:3. Wait no, I just heard him again. Regardless, he'll be out soon and all will be quiet except for the peck, peck, peck of keyboard keys. James always knows when I hit backspace and starts laughing. It's a good thing I'm fairly decent at typing anymore, otherwise his jaw would be sore. And that ends the randomness for the day. MUCH LOVE!

Great to hear from you, James!

I loved it when my phone rang today and it was you! Even though I was driving and really should have been paying more attention to the 3 small children in the vehicle rather than you...wait no, I should have been paying attention to driving, that's it. Anyway, we're home so I guess all is well.

I can see 3 teeth on the top of Declan's mouth. I think that is the reason for the night-waking as of lately. Though this morning he didn't wake until 5:30, so not too bad. Right now he's back in his pack n play, screaming again. I can't get him to be happy no matter where I place him. I think it's time for Tylenol or Orajel. I'll probably get him up soon and we'll go outside to do his favorite - SWING! Is he like his older brother or what? Yesterday he fell asleep outside in the swing.

It's gorgeous here, but windy. So you wouldn't like it. It's 74 degrees or so.

Caden should be home in about 20 minutes, with his cousins arriving about 20 minutes after that. Tonight we're going to my parents' to have supper and just hang out. Tomorrow I have no plans, but that awesome chick who bought all my Gymboree clothes from me last garage sale would like to meet up and go through my stuff again, insta-garage sale from the hatch of the Odyssey! That would be great.

Alright, time to crack the last full caff Mt. Dew of the day and brace myself for 3 more little ones to arrive. Continue to have a wonderful time! We love you and miss you, but we're doing just fine. :)

PS - it's www.aim.com - add tenacadensmommy :)

And I'm a single mother.

Wow, hats off to all the single mothers of the world. I sweat just thinking about it, and now that it is here it's not so fun. James left our house around 3:40pm and won't be home until Monday LATE (possibly even Tuesday EARLY). He's going with his parents to visit his home state of Montana and to hang out with family. And I was the one who encouraged him to do so. WHAT was I thinking????? Serious.

Folks, little Caden understands what has happened here. He cried "daddddyyyyyy" for 45 minutes after I put him down for bed. It was GUT-wrenching. I put the kids to bed without James here at LEAST once a week and I never get that reaction. We told them that daddy went on an airplane and he signs "airplane" and "daddy" and then cries "dadddddyyyyy". I can't even tell you how sad it is. We were playing outside just after James left and an airplane went overhead - Caden signed "daddy" super excitedly and when it went past, he was crestfallen. He then signed "home", asking if James was coming home. It had been approximately 20 minutes since James had left. This might be interesting.

Avery on the other hand, totally fine, and SHE'S the daddy's girl! I could hear her telling Caden in their bedroom, "Daddy's on a plane Caden, he'll be home later." but that wasn't cutting it for Cay.

And Declan. Refused any solid foods tonight (sorry Grandpa Barbie, I TRIED!) and then refused the 2nd bottle I offered after he screamed for 10 minutes in his crib.

This might be interesting.

Is it Tuesday yet???

More LaLa problems...

I have gotten more comments over that! It's what my friend Heidi has always called it, and I think it's great. LaLa...yeah, no big deal, right? ;)

I had to take him back in today. He has a bacterial infection down there. You wouldn't believe how awful it looks - blisters, pus, ugh. I cried when they were trying to get a culture of it. He's being a huge trooper about it, even took his oral antibiotics very well just before nap.

In other news, we are gearing up for a weekend of camping. It's supposed to be gorgeous here, sunny and low 70s. Love it! Tonight is also Caden's school Open House...I'm sure he'll be excited to show off his stuff at school to all of us!