So it's 2013. I know, thank you, Captain Obvious. But I'm just feeling GOOD about this year. So many people make New Year's Resolutions. I never really have. I always SAID it was because of one thing or another, but the truth remains this: I never made them because I was terrified of failing. And now, I'm on the other side of a typical NYResolution fail - I lost almost 80 pounds and gained over 60 back. Truth be told, that sucks, it really does, but that doesn't change who I am. It doesn't change my personality or the fact that I could have the a$$ of a $40 mule and my kids would still adore me. It truly doesn't change ANYTHING (ok let's be honest, it does change what size clothing I wear and it changes some things obvious only to me in private moments, but I really can't type that out...).
I'm going to be honest here. This is going to be my "safe place" and I really don't care who reads it. To me, weight is just a number. To some it's a private word only to be shared with your doctor...and then only because s/he already saw it on the scale. But weight is a marker of where you've allowed yourself to go. You don't get fat from simply not exercising...you get fat from eating too much food. I have spent a lot of time eating too much food. I use food for comfort and the past 8 months have been torture in some emotional ways. I turned to food.
I am going to start learning some coping mechanisms that don't involve food. I am going to start being positive, even when I screw up. I am going to be proud of every stage my body is in. If I give the stages my kids are in my full embrace, of course I should do the same for me!