Sunday, July 15, 2012
I think I need to write.
I think I might explode if I don't write. But I'm not even sure where to begin. I've never felt more lost in my entire life. I've never faked it quite so hard. I've never woken up, day after day, begging God to make things different. And as soon as I utter that prayer I realize I don't dare ask that of God anymore. He seems to believe my shoulders are quite vast, and I feel my shoulders are narrowing by the day. Things keep popping up - right now, serious concerns about Macey and Madelyn's health - in the middle of my stress. Things that I don't think I can handle right now. I can't believe God would give me "one more thing" and then...He does. I don't even know who I am or what I'm supposed to be or do. I only know that 5 little, precious souls need me to be their rock, and I'm trying. I can do anything for them.