So this is how it's going to be?

As you know, today was James' first day. And the bad part about that 1 hour drive (each way) is that it happened on a Wednesday and James has to be at church by 7pm which means we haven't talked hardly AT ALL about how things went. All I do know is that James wore the WRONG shoes and I guess his fashion coordinator (me) is going to have to let him know that you don't wear work boots with nice jeans and a collared polo. I mean seriously, is that so difficult to understand? Sorry, I'm punchy today.

In fabulous news, our Cabela's lounge chairs arrived today! Love them. We got the black ones because they were on sale, AND I had mega Cabelas.com gift cards from our Discover cash-back accounts, yippee!!


Macey and Madelyn had their follow ups after being discharged from the hospital. They are 100% healthy! Glad to hear it.

I'm super struggling with wanting FOOD lately. And I think a large part of that is that my bestie is going to be gone until late Monday so I feel like I have to "make up" for her not being around....replacing one comfort with another. So I'm trying hard to remember that I can't feed my emotions, that I have to feel them and deal with them and be strong in spite of them. But I really want chocolate cake right now (I made some awesome cake to celebrate James' "last day" yesterday). I'm off to crack open a Diet Mt Dew caffeine free instead.

Tomorrow marks a new beginning for our family.

I have been hesitant to say anything here about James job and how unhappy he's been. I know there are people who read this who also work where he does and are family members of people who work there. I have nothing but good things to say about the PEOPLE that James has worked for and with for the past 12 years and 4 months. They are truly God-fearing, wonderful people.

The problem has been that James has been unhappy at his job. And he's been unhappy for years. Way too long, but it seems we kept getting pregnant or had a big ol house addition going on and the timing just wasn't quite right. We got to a point though, where the toll it was taking on James (depression, and I swear his illness earlier this year was in part due to his being so down) and ultimately on our entire family just wasn't worth it. So James has been applying. And the economy isn't great. But last week he got HIRED! And tomorrow he starts his new job!

James will be working (part-time at 29hrs/wk) at The Scooter Store. He will be the guy who brings the motorized chairs to people with limited mobility (do you like how I'm using all the appropriate buzz words already??) in their homes, teaches them how to use them and also fixes/troubleshoots issues. After having been working in a troubleshooting type job for so long, plus being a service technician in people's homes, this feels very natural to James. He is excited. He is becoming the James I used to know - fun-loving, animated, full of life and not so exhausted and weary. Hopefully this is just the beginning of better things to come!

So yeah, it's only part time, and his current employer has been kind enough to let him stay on in part time capacity there as well (until he finds something else or they find a full-time replacement for him). And there are other downsides...we will be leaving AHHHHHHHHHHHmazing medical benefits (100% coverage, I kid you not) and going to COBRA type coverage. We're not used to paying for our coverage but I guess we've been spoiled long enough. There's also a 1+hour commute for James to get to work, and he has to be there by 7am. Right now, he has a company vehicle that he drives and it's a 4 minute commute. We went in with eyes wide open, and we believe that God will make a way. It's imperative that James find his happiness again, and we're praying this is one (huge) step in the right direction!

Pushing back that bedtime.

Trying to put hyper kids down at 7pm during the summer when it's fully light outside and the fun has only just begun (in their minds) is just not a fun task. Add to that the fact that they horse around for a full hour after they are put to bed and you have some cranky parents. Tonight we went for a drive to go see the flooding and to get some ice cream. We told them that bedtime was going to be later. This means nothing to them as they cannot tell time - which I am NOT complaining about!! Declan actually complained when we said "bedtime is going to be later"...all he heard was that bedtime word. Mmmm hmmm.

So we did bedtime for Macey and Madelyn at 7:30 or so (our drive had us out later than usual) and then tackled the big kids. It was good. We had absolutely no horsing around in beds and cribs after they were put into bed! This is a first. Usually to get that result we have to force them to run 200000 laps around the house before bed. Going to bed just one hour later sure is easier!

Now. We'll see how morning goes. Our kids tend to be the kinds of kids who wake up by 7:30 no matter WHEN they fell asleep. I'm hoping that the 8pm bedtime will sort of diminish that. Hoping.

And we're home!

That is all. Hallelujah!

Guess what???

Macey is now in the hospital as well. They get to share a room, how sweet! (There is sarcasm dripping off my voice.) We are PRAYING they both get to come home tomorrow. Madelyn is doing tons better and Macey wasn't quite as sick to begin with.

A baby with pneumonia

Yes, one of ours. All 5 of our kids have had coughs and colds for a week or more, some worse than others. Madelyn just kept getting progressively worse and this morning I finally took her in to the ER. She has pneumonia, poor baby! She's doing pretty good, but needs an IV for her ear infection and to cover all bases on the pneumonia. She also needs oxygen so she's got that going on as well. I really thought we were done with the sickness - good grief, we're just a few days shy of summer! Keep her in your thoughts and prayers!

Soooooooo, weight loss.

Yep, I started chattering about it in January. On the 4th of Jan I joined weight watchers with my BFF Heather. It was slow going, too slow for me....aaaaaaaaaaaaand, I wasn't that serious about it if I'm being perfectly honest. I mean I TRIED, but my give-a-dam was busted. I lost maybe 14 pounds from Jan-May, to which you may be saying, "That's GREAT!" but the truth is when you have over 100 pounds to lose (as I do, to even get into my healthy weight range for my shortness) you should be losing a bit faster than that. Jillian Michaels would agree.

In May I decided it was ridiculous to spend money to not care. Interestingly enough, that is when I began to care. And I want to lose weight now, I really do. I am tired of hating on myself when I see a picture of me...and yes, I know that goes beyond the outward appearance but I just look freakin' fat. People say to me, "But you've had 5 babies!" and this is true, but I don't want to be fat anymore. There's no reason I have to be. *I* am the one keeping myself here. Me and my big old fear of failure. I've told myself for YEARS that I can't be "small", I can't get there, that's for the "pretty girls". Ridiculous! I am a pretty girl! Fat doesn't change that, it just hides it. So I'm ready to let the hiding game end. I'm ready to see what I'd look like at 225 pounds, at 200 pounds, then at 175, then at 150, then ....

For today, a couple of successes. First, I walked up and down our driveway 12 times (10 times = 1 mile), running up(hill) the last time! (I also did up and down 16 times yesterday, running up the last time, but the twins weren't having it today.) If you think you can't exercise, get creative. I don't want to exercise after James gets home because I want to veg and be with him, but I also don't want to do it during my "free time" (naptime), so I do lunch, get everyone outside in strollers, on bikes, etc. and start huffing it! Yes, I am red-faced and nearly dying at the end, but then I can put the 3 little ones down for nap, take my shower and I can relax for the rest of the day. (I know a lot of you would suggest getting up 20-30 minutes early and doing this before everyone's out of bed, but then you would not really know me that well.) I also hit a low weight for me, a number I haven't seen for at least 9 months when I dropped down "low" after the twins were born - I was at 243.6 today! I'm happy with that! I started out my pregnancy with the twins at over 250 so this is excellent.

(Yes, I am that transparent about the numbers. Who honestly cares what the number on the scale says, right? It's not like you can't see that I'm heavy. This just takes the guesswork out of it for you - I know as well as you do that we're all dying to ask people just how much they weigh, LOL!)

I feel great. I feel like I am finally taking care of myself and the other things in life are falling into place. I have supper in the crockpot for tonight already. I made a great meal last night and we enjoyed it as a family. This is a big success for me - meal planning and execution is just about my greatest domestic weakness, so it feels great to be on top of it!

I look forward to sharing this journey with you. This is hard work, but I am so worth it!!

The first (of many) questions.

It's the first day of summer vacation for Caden. We're all sitting in the living room together, Caden next to me being his usual self - a bunch of noise, no real words, just "chatty". Avery (nearly 6) is across the room and she said to me, "Mommy, why is Caden 7 and he doesn't know how to do anything yet?" I asked her what she meant and pointed out the things he can do...she said, "But he can't really DO things!" I told her he isn't a like a big kid like she is...and that's what she meant. I explained that Caden was special, that God made him special. I could tell that didn't really resonate with her because we tell ALL of our kids that God made them special. So then I told her that Caden was called special needs - he needs help doing the things that the rest of us learn to do on our own. THAT seemed to do the trick. I then told her that was why Caden goes to a different school than she does because the people there know him, love him and are helping him to learn things. The only thing she wants to know is when she can go to CADEN'S Kindergarten! (Caden goes to the public school and Avery will be going to the Christian school.) I told her she wouldn't be. And that was the end of the conversation!

I've always found it interesting that Avery doesn't seem to question how and why Caden is different. I just assumed she didn't notice. I think she does, but it really doesn't matter to her that much. Our hope as parents has always been that our other kids are fully embracing of those with differences. It starts with small questions, I guess!